I do not understand why my hips and thighs are getting bigger. Well, OK, the bagel, muffin and ice cream may have something to do with it. But really, there is no baby on my hips. No need for them to get bigger! Of course, tummy is not far behind. In fact, I am sad to report that I am losing my waistline.

The sheikh has gone for the afternoon so I guess it will be zzzzzzzz time for me. I was worried that he took only the afternoon off because in the morning there might be firing squads. Perhaps there were, but I heard nothing.

Trying hard to come up with a way of taking a vacation and not spending any money. It's proving very difficult. Damn hotels are SO expensive! I wanted to go to Halifax or even Ottawa. All hotels are about $100 a night. B&b's are about the same. Damn!

Oh too funny, Chrissie just left too. You can tell when the sheikh is not here!

Being sick sux. Not being able to take anything to make yourself feel better sux even worse. It all puts me in a foul foul mood. I can't even have a hot toddy to warm myself up. Pregnant people can't do anything! Grrrr!
I was all miss grump last night. Arthur offered to make me chicken soup and I told him not to put any weird vegetables in it. Last time he put in some sweet potato. He's so sweet. I love him so!

Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting older, but increasingly I notice how tactless people are. Yesterday Rodrigo asked me if Arthur minded that he's not working and not able to contribute financially. No, Rodrigo, he loves it! What do you think? Obviously he hates it! What is wrong with people? I mean do I go around asking him if he likes the fact that his wife couldn't 'stick it out' with him and left after eight months? Grrr!
I also don't make sure I enumerate to Gina all of her problems and keep saying 'you must be so stressed' all the time. But then that one is a regular little ray of sunshine. No matter what she says, it come out negative.
OK, done griping for the moment.

Italian scientists have discovered that the reverse side of the Shroud of Turin also contains an image of the face and hands of Jesus or whoever was wrapped in the shroud.

http://www.iop.org/EJ/news/-topic=735/journal/1464-4258

Interestingly, some say that this can be proof that the Shroud is authentic. It is sure to spark more debate.

No enlightened answers emerged yesterday. Obviously things like the queen of England and the most read writer in the world are not options. I wonder who is the most read writer in the world. Hm.

The search continues.

Sometimes I have the irresistible urge to run away. Then I come to the question - who would I be if I were not me. Suppose that there was an accident and everyone thought I died in it, but of course I didn't. Would I go back to my life? In the end I think I would because I would not want to live without Arthur. But let's just suppose that I didn't. I could start my life from scratch. Who would I be?
Or what if I got amnesia and could not remember any of my past including upbringing and childhood. I could become someone completely different. I would have no ingrown fears and inhibitions because everything would be starting anew.
I guess what I'm saying is that I want a new start of some kind. I want a change, a good change. There are some patterns in my life that are bringing me down and I want to get rid of them. Running away would be a lot easier though.

Manners are officially a thing of the past. All the farty people in this city were riding the subway with me today. Whatever happened to holding it until you get to a bathroom?! No, instead they regale everyone with their essence.
Of course, on the other side from farty boy on the Bloor line, sat a lady who had an accident with a perfume bottle. Clearly all the contents of it had spilled on to her and she had no time to shower to get the stink off before she boarded the subway. So, here were my alternatives, breathe in the human aroma or the concentrated flowery sticky sweetness of some knock off perfume, which made me sneeze uncontrollably. I tried to breathe in the small area of space between the two pungent passengers and prayed for Yonge station to come soon.

Three days of training. My brain is about to ooze out of my ears. The trainer, Jumba was from Nigeria and had a very interesting accent. Sometimes I could not quite catch what he said. It took me a while to realize, for example, that Elia Vachon, whom he insisted on talking about was in fact 'earlier version'. It kept making me think about Prescious Ramotswe. On top of it he kept referring to certain processes as 'this thing' and that made me think about "The Gods Must be Crazy". All, in all, quite pleasant reminiscing there. But of course I could not do that for three days. Am quite tired now. Learning is a very energy consuming process. Maybe will take a snooze at my desk...Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Been feeling sick like a dog. Riding buses is especially challenging, with all the smells of people around and the sudden breaking. This morning I thought I was going to throw up then and there. Ah, the joys of impending motherhood!

Something is falling outside, hard to say snow or rain. It's yucky.
Been reading about the dogging and toothing trends in the UK. Weird. OK, these people must be seriously bored with their lives and reckless. I bet occurence of STDs has jumped. I may have the odd fantasy about the sheikh or two, but hey, I would not actually act on one.
Have no idea why I do have fantasies about the sheikh, btw. He doesn't have blue eyes, which I love and his nails are a little long, which I detest. And he has pudgy fingers. This is the first time I see pudgy fingers on a man aside from Bary. But Bary was very pudding like all over. The sheikh is certainly not pudding-ghy. And he's tall, so that's a definite plus. He has big arms too.

Watched Austin Powers 2 last night with Arthur. Well, I started it, but got so sleepy that I had to go to bed at 9:30. Anyway, found it sad and boring. Dr. Evil is still the best character. Austin himself totally not funny. And for this I missed Frontline!

Saw "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind". Loved it. Arthur didn't like it that much, probably because it did not beautify everything. Things were not pretty, and even the people were not so much either. Kate Winslet really did not look good in blue hair, but that was not the point. She was good in the role. Jim Carrey ditto. He's quite an attractive man when he's not making weird faces.
Anyway, it was a concept that kept me thinking for a while, being able to erase certain memories. That makes those events disappear. After all, how do we know something happened to us except by our memories of the event. And then interesting observations about love - the love was not erased though the memories were.
Had lunch with Ned and his girlfriend. They are so cute together. When she comes by, he just completely changes, even his body language does. I bet he doesn't even know. They've been together longer than Arthur and I too.

Met an interesting woman on subway today. I see her at the bus stop every day and met her through the lady from the community center. She has quite a different point of view on the work world as she works in HR for a large company, one that actually does business with Evil Corporation. They're both a client and a service provider. I guess I've been in IT for too long now and forget that people work differently. That is, they don't stare into a computer screen all day. Must be nice. And of course, being in HR, she wants to find everyone jobs.

Can't wait to get away on the 26th. When has the five o'clock world become the six o'clock world? I guess I really had it good at LightSpeed. Is anyone actually more productive because they work longer? I bet it's the reverse. It is in my case! :)

Wept while listening to a Chieftains song today. These hormones, man, they make you crazy!

Emma told me to call her if a kitten commercial makes me cry at three in the morning. Well, looks like that just might happen. She said 'be sure to say kitten' and then she would know.

Also, I could do without these damn headaches. Oh, and why do people have to have the stinkiest food around here. It makes me want to gag.

Well, fight with Evil Corporation is over. They offered me a more decent raise. I was a little shocked at how fast they acted. They didn't even call me in, just made an offer, which I took. No need to piss them off unnecessarily. I would have LIKED more (especially in present circumstances), but let's not be greedy. What they offered was a raise and not a slap in the face this time.

Just came back from the mall and boy it's cold and windy! Good thing this is not supposed to be spring yet, 'cause it doesn't feel like it!

OK, people just have no clue about sensitivity. Not only do they keep asking me about having a baby ("so, anything yet? how about now? how about now?") they tell me I should colour my hair 'because it's starting to look grey'. Yeah, what else? Do I look fat? Can you see my wrinkles? Grrr!

A pea in the pod.

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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Got sucked in to watching the Oscars on Sunday. Mind you, I only watched the red carpet thing and then half an hour of the ceremony (Billy Cristal is losing his touch). Then Arthur wanted to watch Stargate. I have to say that Christopher Judge gets cuter with every episode. Good thing they did not kill his character off or I'd be seriously upset. Anyway, as I looked at all the gowns and jewels, I realized that it no longer has the same excitement as ten years ago.
I am making progress. Today I went to J-town after lunch and did not buy any jewelry. Of course, the fact that my new ring came yesterday as well as my new Burberry pouch may have had something to do with it. I stuffed the envelope it came in into my closet. It's not that Arthur would disapprove, I'm sure he would not, it's more that I'm ashamed that I can't control myself.
Oh, this day is going slowly!
Watched "Awakenings" last night for the nth time (that is until Arthur came in and we watched Airline). What a great person Oliver Sacks is and how terrible that the encephalitis patients re-lapsed. I saw an interview with one of the patients a few years ago. It was a woman who had the Parkinsonian tremor and it was so strong that she could not even comb her hair. Makes me wonder what good I am doing. Here are all these people who need help, who are trapped in their bodies and minds. I do provied help, I even provide Help. Just not to the needy.
Glacia and I had a discussion about the Niagara short story contest. Neither of us has any ideas for a story, but I say I am not going to participate on the grounds that you have to pay. I mean, if it's a contest, you should not have to pay to take part. She saw through my rather thin charade.

Grey Monday. Have done dick all all morning though I had the best intentions to be productive. I did have the best intentions to come up with lots of ideas, but all I came up with was a lame-o checklist.
Emma is doing a Clara on me. I have e-mailed her several times last week and called and got no replies. It's Clara's birthday on Wednesday. Mind you, after the lack of communication from her after Christmas (no card or even a thank you for the present we sent), I really don't see why we should send anything. I'm a big softie though. Even if Emma doesn't get in touch, I will send Clara an e-card.
The battle plans for more pay are raging. I found on monster that I should be making 48K. I'm afraid that the company will just ignore my requests. After all, they ignored the sheikh's recommendation that I be paid more.
Did get a Burberry cosmetic bag after all. Hee hee! It's coming to the house. I am really a shopaholic!

OK, out of control on the shopping thing again. I need so many things and it's spring (new clothes!). I need a new shower curtain and new curtains for the bedroom would be nice as well. I would also like a new weekend bag (do NOT need that!) and a pink t-shrit like Drew Barrymore's in 50 First Dates. We need new pillows for the bed. Aaarrghhh!
By the way, typing this as I'm waiting for the auction on Burberry cosmetic bag to close. Hope I get it, but I saw two others as well and if I do not get that one, will buy another one. Sigh. I love shopping.

Oh, boy, life in corporate Canada is not easy. He my yearly review. The sheikh was all praise for my little endeavours, but unfortunately the salary review did not match the performance review. Now this is a large multinational corporation. One would think they would have the money to give me a raise of more than 1%! Yep, it was insulting. Emma was right. Compa ratio is a number that tells you how much HR will screw you over. In this case, royally. Even HRDC says I should be making more than I am. Sigh.
The sheikh was rather embarrased about it. I could tell he felt like crap having to tell me how little I would get. He said if I wanted to appeal and present arguments for why I should get more, I should. I will!