Sometimes I have the irresistible urge to run away. Then I come to the question - who would I be if I were not me. Suppose that there was an accident and everyone thought I died in it, but of course I didn't. Would I go back to my life? In the end I think I would because I would not want to live without Arthur. But let's just suppose that I didn't. I could start my life from scratch. Who would I be?
Or what if I got amnesia and could not remember any of my past including upbringing and childhood. I could become someone completely different. I would have no ingrown fears and inhibitions because everything would be starting anew.
I guess what I'm saying is that I want a new start of some kind. I want a change, a good change. There are some patterns in my life that are bringing me down and I want to get rid of them. Running away would be a lot easier though.