'Tis a time for looking back

At the end of each year I try to take stock of what I have accomplished. This year is not bad though it does not compare with the last (had a child last year!). This year I got a new job. I got my full G drivers' license. I got into debt. I got to attend some very cool psych training and meet some very interesting people. I got to spend four months taking care of my baby full time.

Things that will be transferred from my 'to do' list for next year:

• get a car
• get a house

Those pretty much make it on the list every year, but there were many years when 'get a good job' was on the list and voila, this year I did. I am hopeful.

And now for something completely different...

You know you are bored out of your tree when... you learn how to see auras on an internet site. I'm not kidding. I've been indexing a book for a few days and feel that my inventiveness is draining so I am off in the pursuit of something new, weird, different. Well, I managed to see an aura of a red circle, but have not had the opportunity to practice on a person yet. I am quite intrigued though.

Post Christmas Thoughts

It was a good one this year, possums. The food was yum, the gifts were nice and a good time was had by all. Alex cleaned up, as expected. I think his favourite so far is a talking dog that when poked in various places says things like 'blue ear' and 'hand' and 'hug me'. We were a little spooked when the dog, left aside for a few minutes, said 'I can see you!' Can you say horror movie?

I got lovely things, a work basket and a cute mug from Arthur. I immediately put all my wool in the basket and it all fits! Love it! The mug has Eyore on it. :) I got him some nice Dolce & Gabbana cologne and a South Park t-shirt. My friend Charlotte gave me a gorgeous Roots leather bag and some lovely Fruits and Passion products. I still have to redeem my Sephora gift certificate that I got from my not-so-secret santa at work.

Now I need to shop for Arthur's birthday, which is on the 2nd of January and for Emma's, which is on the 14th.

Slowly getting back into the swing of things at work. That is, not really. Just basically putting in the time. I have to work two days this week. Well, really. No point in starting anything big.

Thinking about New Year's resolutions, I think I will carry over last year's - to clear up clutter and add to it. Will keep you posted.

Ahh, love the hols.

It's Christmas time...

Christmas at the Burdick home (the young Burdicks that is) means sleeping an hour later than normal. Oh, how I relish ... but I am being very practical.

Seriously though, Christmas has always had a mystique about it for me. I just love this holiday. This year we will be going to Oakville once again. So, it will go something like this.

Christmas Eve

11:43 a.m.
Board train for the ville, after an hour on the subway and bus. Alex's carriage filled to capacity and us carrying his gear (which seems to be the most bulky) and pressies, pressies.

12:30 p.m.
Arrive Oakville and stuff everything and everyone into my dad's car for the 15 minute ride from the station.

12:45
Arrive at parents' home to find mom in the kitchen with a wild look on her face, trying to prepare the Christmas Eve feast (no other way of describing it). There are 12 courses in the traditional Polish Christmas Eve dinner. We have cheated along the years by calling each piece of dessert a 'course' because seriously, who can eat 12 courses! We throw ourselves into helping. Alex romps on the carpet in the living room, tearing any and all papers that come into his hands.

4:40
We can't sit down to the table until the first star appears in the sky. So, much time is spent on looking for said star. Luckily, Venus usually shows up pretty early.
We have a special Christmas wafer (note to self, go and buy wafer) that we share before dinner. Each person breaks off a piece and then goes around to everyone else with their wishes. Then you break off a piece of their wafer and they break a piece of yours. That ensures that the good wishes come true.
We then sit down to dinner, which is vegetable salad, hot sauercraut, cod or some other such fish, herring, mushroom soup. While we have an apple compote, we open the presents. Then there are cakes - cheesecake, poppyseed loaf, babka, and of course, chocolate. There is wine with dinner and then brandy or whisky after.

7:00
Happy laziness after a filling dinner, the trying on of gifts, playing any new CDs or DVDs, leafing through books.

10:00
Bedtime.

Christmas Day

8:00 a.m.
Christmas breakfast, with ham, veggie salad, eggs and all kinds of goodies.

3:00 p.m.
TURKEY!!!

Now, all this said, things might be completely different this year because of Alex.

Glacia and I remember...

Well, there was that time we went to see Mamma Mia. We had had some vodkatinis before that at Zoom so we were in a great mood. We sang and danced to all our fave ABBA songs. There was a man with a beard sitting next to us. He just sat there and looked on. We were pretty sloshed and demanded to know why he was not participating in the greatest musical event ever. He turned to us and we realized it was Bjorn Ulvaues! He thanked us for our enthusiasm and asked that we perform a cameo in the next performance. We did. Unfortunately, by then we were sober. There ended our career as musical performers, but it was GOOD TIMES!

Trouble

I am having a lot of trouble posting lately. Something in Blogger doesn't like pengirl. Very sad. Also sad and also trouble - our ferret, named Trouble is sick and will possibly not see the spring. She's losing hair down the back and is sluggish and sometimes doesn't eat. Poor little thing.

Now, about the election foolishness. I already made my views known about the fact that it's a waste of time and money, however, the opposition parties seemed not to have heeded what I said because there was a vote of non-confidence last night and the election will be officially called this morning. Hello, another minorty government! I feel for Emma whose hubby will be in the midst of it all, being a party employee.

In knitting news... yes, you thought I gave up, didn't you! I finished soft fluffy scarf for me and made small scarf for baby and now back to Arthur's sweater. This will take a while because the wool is pretty thin and the sweater needs to be big. Hopefully he can wear it next winter. :)

7 Seconds

We watched a documentary on the Passionate Eye last night about a man who has almost total amnesia. He can remember things for 7 seconds. This is as a result of a virus that attacked his brain 20 years ago. He used to be a brilliant orchestra director and now cannot remember anything. He can't go out because he would never be able to return. He doesn't know if he saw his wife that day or his children. It's a kind of death and a horrible way to live. Makes me very grateful that though I don't have money, I have lots of other blessings - my wonderful husband and lovely boy and all my faculties intact.

365 Days

52 bags of diapers, 200 cans of formula and I don't know how many boxes of baby cereal and baby food later, we have a one year old! Alex celebrated his birthday yesterday. We had my parents over as well as Emma and Simon. Alex was SO excited all day that he would not nap. As a result he was so tired after Emma and Simon left that he fell asleep as I was feeding him cereal with pears and mango. He got lots of toys, two new outfits and a snow suit. Of course, he played with the cardboard box his Barney came in the most.

I can't believe it's been a year already. It doesn't seem possible. He's so adorable. I'm sure every mother says that, but in my case it's actually true. :)

Rememberance Day

To all the Veterans: Thank you. We remember.

Snow White


The Traditional Princess

You are generous, graceful, and practical with both
feet planted firmly on the ground. You tend to
be a little on the old-fashioned side. You
value home, hearth, and family life and love to
be of service to others.

Role Models: Snow White, Maid Marian

You are most likely to: Discover a hidden talent
for spinning straw into gold.


What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
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Hah!

The author I'm working with sent a message to my director saying he likes working with me and I am doing a good job! Yay me! This guy is really nice too and I don't mind dealing with him though it takes 150% of my time.

Glacia is in Norway, lucky girl, and I am beginning to feel restless and would love to travel somewhere. Now here is yet another way that mothers are torn continually. I want to travel, but could not bear to be away from Alex. Even if we go to the conference in Vancouver next year, I am already scheming a way to take him and Arthur along. Good thing babies travel free.

Am planning Alex's birthday get together. Can't call it a party really because it will be just us, my parents and Emma with Simon and possibly her husband, unless there's an election. Mr. Peel is an activist in the Liberal party.

OK, time to rant. What idiot calls an election before Christmas. Not that I want one anyway. OK, so we all know that they all steal in one way or another. The Liberals got caught. Big deal. Accept the shame with a red face and hung head and get on with it! There is nobody else to elect! So what if we have an election. It will be the same bloody result all over again - a liberal minority government. Otherwise, it might be a conservative minority government and that would just be too cruel to contemplate. Harper should not be allowed any power whatsoever.
End rant.

The problem ...

with having given out my blog addy to people is that there is a chance, small though it may be, that people I know will actually read my blog. This means I can't vent properly. So here is a toned down version.

Damn, damn, damn! Shoot, blast, damn!

Am in serious need of a personal day. There are just days that I want to be totally irresponsible. Dye my hair purple (you thought I forgot about that one, didn't you?), get a tattoo (washable, I don't need gratuitous pain) and hang out at Queen East, scaring the natives. Or better yet at Yorkville. It's just that it's been a while since I've been to the Beaches. Yeah, and eat chocolate. Cake. Chocolate cake.

Am totally freaked out about the flu pandemic. Don't know whether to get a mask or gloves or just go around in a bubble or stay home and order food through Grocery Gateway.

Arrrgghhhh!

Friends rock!

Talked to Emma yesterday. I don't know how, but she always makes me feel so much better about everything. Oh, yes, pengirl has been down in the dumps lately. Why, you ask? No money, no time, media panic frenzy about the flu pandemic, hurricanes and earthquakes, so the usual stuff.

Still not finished reading the first key in Dr. Phil's grand scheme of weight loss and had no time to do any of the exercises, so can't say I should be surprised that I have lost no weight. Did watch "The Biggest Loser" on TV last night though. That has to count for something. OK, so I did have a bowl of chocolate pudding while I was watching it, but hey, a girl's gotta eat.

Your Monster Profile

Lethal Goblin You Feast On: Bananas You Lurk Around In: The Backseats of Cars You Especially Like to Torment: Lawyers

What's Your Monster Name?

Hair

Glacia posted a pic of her pink hair on her blog and I love it. I now want to add purple to my hair. I thought I'd do it for Halloween, but as we are dressing up, it would not go with my costume. Oh, but I so want to do it!

In other news... there is no other news. I have to say that I love Fridays. At work we get breakfast every Friday - bagels, mini muffins, fruit and yogurt. I love bagels even though they do evil things to my tummy. Together with breakfast there is this Friday morning leisure. People sit and have brekkie together, talk. Work gets going slowly and everyone is in weekend mode. It's good.

In diet news, I have bought Dr. Phil's book. He guarantees weight loss if you follow his seven keys. Well, we'll see. Key number one is to set realistic goals for weight loss. So, for me, that means going down to 180 pounds. I would like to do it in 18 months. I guess I won't be having too many breakfast bagels in the future!

What Maggie Needs

Go to Google, search for your name and 'needs'.

Maggie needs an alibi.
Maggie needs to teach ethics to this lame professor of ethics. (apparently regarding Terry Schiavo)
Maggie needs a home. She is 10 and is a people dog.
Maggie needs to be near Mom. (clearly is having problems with pet aggression)
Maggie needs immediate help with the implementation of organizational tools.
Maggie needs help understanding possible future pitfalls that could arise.
Animal rights advocates say the last thing Maggie needs is a treadmill. (could not agree with you more. Mind you, Maggie here is an elephant)
Maggie needs your help to get to her pet, Didi.
Maggie needs to learn how to respond to, or not respond to, people, dogs andother stimuli

Is it just me or are there a lot of dogs named Maggie?

Nothing special

It's just another drizzly day in the city and it took me two hours to get to work. Grrr! It was all about construction trucks parked in the wrong lane, school crossings and hordes of teenagers. Don't ask!

The United Way campaign is on at work. I am part of the committee, much to my surprise. Usually I stay away from those things as much as I can. I can see now that there will be no spending money left what with candygrams, silent auctions, Bingo and whatnot. It's all for a good cause though, so I suppose I will forgo the usual chocolate treats. It will be better for my figure as well.

Am in a bit of a creatvie funk with things I need to do at work. There are days when I feel like I know nothing. I work in a bit of a bubble sometimes, where I have these huge projects that I work on and then have people look at them later. Am I doing it right? I don't know. Am I being innovative, creative and all kinds of other ives? I don't know. Should I go shopping? Oh, yes! That is one thing I do know. :)

Goodbye Gail

Our Director of HR had an anneurism two weeks ago. She passed away last Thursday. Yesterday we all went to a service in her memory.

I did not know her that well, but yet her death brought home to me a few facts that only events like this make plain. Gail was a very alive, vibrant person. She was one of those people who are ever active and cannot keep still. If she was waiting to speak with someone, she would do this little dance step instead of standing still. She was funny and loved to laugh. She was only 53. She had battled breast cancer 9 years ago and won! She had a large, very loving family and she really seemed to be torn away from their midst. Well, here are the lessons I learned: you never know when it will be time to go; if you feel something, think something, want something - say it! Time is so short. All of Gail's friends and family knew how much she loved them because she made sure to say it every day, not just on special occasions. Clearly she was much wiser than most of us.

Goodbye Gail. You touched my life very briefly and I am sorry I did not know you better.

Like a leaf on the wind
You were torn from us
Too quickly, oh Lord
Too quickly.

Food

Lately it seems that I've been writing about food a lot. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I need to lose 20 pounds and I have begun to feel guilty about pretty much everything I eat. I have come to realize that to achieve the 20 pound weight loss I need to stop eating. Yes, I know what you're going to say, just get a little more exercise. The thing is that I have no time. And I mean that. My commute takes 3 hours a day. I'm at work for eight hours. When I get home, I take care of baby until about eight p.m., at which point he goes to sleep. Then I have two hours relax time, at which point, a. I can't leave in case bebe needs me, b. can't do anything loud so as not to wake bebe, c. am utterly exhausted and sit-ups are the last thing on my mind.
So, diet is pretty much the only way I can lose weight right now.

Last night Arthur made these super delish green peppers stuffed with chili. Oh, they were yummy, and of course I immediately felt guilty because we know that yummy foods are the bad, fat producing ones. It has gotten so if I enjoy something, I immediately feel guilty about eating it. I think I will have to stick to carrot sticks and celery for a while. And chocolate, of course.

Chocolate Madness

Read an article about cravings in Scientific American on the weekend. Apparently opiate based drugs suppress food cravings. Fabulous. Now I just need to get myself hooked on pot and I will no longer crave chocolate and will be as slim as a willow. Strangely enough, Latin women who eat more chocolate, crave it less and by the same token do not pig out on it as much as deprived North American women who are always on a diet. Hey, I see possibilities here! Have chocolate means don't crave chocolate, means eat less chocolate! I like that plan! (sipping on her cup of hot chocolate)

Further on the subject, I would like to say, that I love the Cadbury Thins chocolate bars. It's 100 calories of yummy, smooth fulfilling choccy. Mmmm!

Yes, I am weak!

I got the latest LL.Bean catalogue and had to get these cute little moose slippers and reindeer pj's for Alex. I am a weakling. No wonder I have no money! Not to mention that I found things I would just LOVE to have myself and get for Arthur and my mom and dad... Well, I suppose I can justify it if it's Christmas shopping. Yes, that's it and of course, they all have their birthdays coming up soon too. Ha!

Had lunch with a friend from Evil Corporation and am sooooooo glad I no longer work there. They had yet another round of lay-offs. We went to Crappy Chinese Buffet and unfortunately it was more crappy than ever. I was only able to eat a mouthful of each dish. Of course, mango ice cream was dessert, and frankly, if I could have limited myself to that, it would have been better. Delia put half the amount of food I had on her plate and also picked at it and left some. Well, I guess that's why she's so svelte and I'm ... not. Now I'm all full and sleepy. Sigh.

But apple crumble makes things better...

Had left over apple crumble for dessert after lunch today. Lovely, lovely Emma Peel made it and brought it over yesterday and Arthur generously let me take it all to work. He even packed it for me. Maybe because he knows that I absolutely LOVE it! It is the only item I piggy out on at Frankie Tomato's. Yum!

And Amazon sent me an email to let me know that they would refund my money for the package that did not get to me. That means I can spend it on wool or beads now. Hah!

Not the best of days

It's raining cats and dogs in TO. Hurricane Rita has got to us at last, though here it's only in the form of lots of rain and muggy, warm weather. Well, thanks to all the rain and the oh, so efficient TTC, it took me over an hour to get from the subway station to work, which normally should take about 20 minutes. Growl. There was disembarking of buses and boarding other buses and finally walking in the rain for ten minutes. So compared with the devastation the hurricanes caused in the States, small potatos and basically a pleasant walk in the park, but in my little world today, not what I needed. On top of that, my latest Amazon purchase went to the wrong address. My fault entirely because I did not check the shipping address and did not realize that just because I had shipped all of my packages to my home addy for the last year, Amazon would decide to ship this one to work. And not just that, to the work where I no longer work. So wondering now if I will ever see it.

Alex did not sleep again last night. We tried rocking, we tried changing the diaper, we tried bottle and nothing. Well, correction, he would fall asleep like a little angel in my arms, but as soon as I would put him in his crib, he would wake up and cry. Finally, at 1:30 a.m., I gave up and decided that I at least needed a nap and put him in our bed. He immediately feel asleep and I dozed for the rest of the night, supremely uncomfortable, and trying not to wake him as I adjusted myself to keep from falling off the edge of the bed. Who would have believed someone so small takes up so much room.

So now, I am bleary eyed, miffed at the TTC and Amazon and all in all in dire need of a treat.

Oink!

I would just like to say that I LOVE the Peponi Grill. It's this little place across from work. They have an eclectic mixture of Indian and East African food, with a waitress who could not be more Canadian. I had the chicken masala wrap with fries and oh, oh, heaven! And the fries! I mean, what can be better than that deep fried, bathed in fat, crispy goodness! Of course, staying thinner can be better, but well, a girl's gotta live. Really, after that meal I should not eat for the rest of the day or I should spend a week eating only grapefruit. Not very likely. So, I say a triumphant Oink! and prepare to embrace my curvy shape.

I'm such a mommy!



Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

In latest news, my little Roo has two more teeth! That makes eight in total!

Money

OK, I actually was not going to complain about it until I talked to my mom who claims that my dad supported the three of us on 18K a year. So she can't understand why I'm having trouble supporting the three of us on my salary (maybe not having trouble, but we certainly aren't saving for a Caribbean vacation). Well, let's start for a moment by realizing that in 20 years prices for goods have risen slightly. And that she worked too at the time. Sigh. I personally don't remember him making 18K. I remember me making 17K when I started working after high school and before university. "Ah, yes, I remember it well..."

As we know, there are two ways of having more money - spend less or make more money. Since my whole plan to win ten million dollars is not working out. And my other plan to write a best selling novel is taking longer than expected. Ah, well, it's only money.

Finally!

My greatness has been recognized.


Your angel is trying to tell you that...you're
intelligent. Wise-eyed and smart, you have a
way with swaying people into following you. You
are the quiet leader who will some day make big
changes in the world.
Song: World On Fire- Sarah McLachlan


What is your angel trying to tell you?!?!?
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New Orleans...

the horror!

Ukrainian Fest

On Saturday I had to go to a photographer to get a couple of passport pictures - one for me, one for my bebe. I completely forgot about the Ukrainian festival that went on in Bloor Village. Well, here I am, with the small stroller, hauling my poor baby through parades of ex PMs, dancing folk groups, beating drums and Falun Dafa members. Though what Falun Dafa has in common with the Ukraine I have no clue. I think they just take advantage of any old festival. Alex was super good and he did not cry even though there was a lot of noise. People were walking like idiots too, nearly smashing into us and I had to give some very stern looks and a few choice words here and there too.

Finally got to Black's and got my photo taken. Then it was Alex's turn, which was a bit tricky. As soon as he sees a camera pointing at him, he breaks out into the biggest grin. Apparently, for passport photos you're not supposed to smile. Had a time getting him to be serious and look straight ahead. Finally did, but he had his lips parted and the lady who was taking the picture seemed very unhappy with that. Apparently, for passport photos you're supposed to have your mouth closed. But he's nine months old! I protested. " Well, maybe they will accept it," she said. I guess we'll see.

Overall though my little guy and I had a great time at the festival. We wandered around while our pics were being printed. I embarked on a semi hearted search of a colourful flower head dress that I saw women wearing. It reminded me of my days as a kid in Poland and all the church fetes in the little villages I attended when on holidays. They always sold little paper flower tiaras for girls and there were raffles too where for a small fee the child drew for a prize. In one of those I won a small ring with a red stone. It was base metal and the 'stone' was actually plastic, but to me it was a treasure and now I wish I had it. I went to that one with my mom. We were on vacation in the mountains. Anyway, I could not find a flower tiara and the cute Ukrainian pattern mug that I was going to get for my hubby was $16 bucks, so I did not get that either. I did get a cute toy for my boy though, so it wasn't a complete shopping washout.

Rainy

It was Alex's nine month well visit yesterday and the poor mite cried as soon as he saw the doctor. No shots though, so that was a blessing. Once again, he is in the 100th percentile for length at 79cm and 73 percentile for weight at 9730 grams. That's almost 22 pounds for all you imperial measure people. He's sitting up by himself and will crawl given half a chance. Pretty soon he'll be a baby no more but a toddler!

I was coming home on the subway from my doctor visit yesterday and there was this lady on the subway who just sat there and laughed and sang to herself. Of course, everyone was looking at her like she'd lost her mind and I thought, how sad. She may have just been happy and of a different mind set than the rest of the grim faced subway riders who sink their nose in a book or stare at a wall in an effort not to make eye contact with anyone. Then again, she may have been nuts, but the same can be said for all of us. Just because someone doesn't quote the bible at random at all the fellow passengers does not mean that he or she is 'normal.' The BTK killer seemed normal to all intents and purposes and he is far from it. So to all of you who find the need to communicate with yourself aloud or sing or do something else that is not normally accepted subway behaviour, I say, you go!

Hmmm...

May,
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly
motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep
feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally.
Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily
consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing.
Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling.
Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having
many children.Hardworking. High spirited.
Spendthrift.


What does your birth month reveal about you?
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It's just a Tuesday

And I am not being very productive at all. Have been poking at a series of slides I have ato prepare for our training program and I just have zero inspiration.

Have not talked about knitting in a while. I have finished the sweater! Yesss! Now I have to sew it together. Bleah! I hate that part. I can knit forever, but putting the stuff together is the yucky part. I think I might have to though, because I did the shoulders and put the furry grey stuff around the neck and it looks good. I know it will tickle when I wear it though. I might just have to take a sidestep and make a crochet teddy for my little guy. A girl at work brought a book for fun patterns and he was one of them.

So now eagerly awaiting some distraction while willing time to go faster so I can go for lunch. I don't know if I can stand so much excitement.

Good news!

I am now a fully licensed driver! Woohoo! Last week I passed my G2 exit test and so now I have a full G license. For our international friends, we have a weird two tier system in Ontario - it takes two years to get your full license.

On the very same day I took my driving test, Alex got two more teeth. This time it's his upper front ones. They're not completely out yet, but very visible when he laughs and sharp when he bites his mommy.

Mmmm, mmmm. Just tried the new Tim Horton's fruit and yogurt cup and am in heaven! It's delish! I'm sure it's loaded with fat, but who cares. It's so tasty! I normally don't like Tim's at all and only go there when there are no other choices around. This time it was because I was on my way back from the bank and had brought no lunch. I see now I will need to visit them more often.

Grump

The abundance of comments on this blog shows me clearly that nobody reads it (except for Glacia, who rocks). This gives me license to write what I want! Ha! Beware, ye of little readership!

We had our version of a big media event on Tuesday, which is the Air France plane crash at Pearson. I totally salute the crew of that plane who actually got 300 people out to safety in about 90 seconds to 4 minutes. Wow. I think that is the best commercial for flying Air France, even if we crash, we will save you! I just hope the crash was not caused by pilot error.

Actually, this is bizarre. I was outside on Tuesday at four-ish and looking up at the sky, watching the huge clouds and wondering when it was going to begin pouring when I saw a plane pass by quite low, heading for the airport. It was flying a bit funny, leaning over to one side and I had a fleeting thought of it crashing, but quickly dismissed it. When I got home, I learned that a plane did crash and around four o'clock. Am clearly psychic.

In a bit of a grump today. I examined all the recent events and decided that it was not due to anything in particular, just a yucky mood. Of course, my notorious lack of money might have something to do with it. Can't even go shopping to make myself feel better.

I have about five centimeters left to knit on my sweater sleeves and then I can put it together! Yay! I will be SO happy. I started this sweater last year, before Alex was born. Next project, funky scarf.

Having kids teaches you a lot about your parents

Alex is a pretty happy kid, but he has days when he's sad, tired and fussy. It's only to be expected, but when one of those days comes, I'm all aflutter, trying to find out why he's not his usual giggly self. Because he can't talk yet, I can't ask him what's wrong (though I do) and expect an answer. A couple of days ago, he had one of those days and I told my mom about it later on the phone.

Me "I HATE it when he's sad. It makes me feel so sad!"
Mom "I used to hate it when you were sad."
Me "And the worst is that I can't ask him what it is. I try all these things and nothing helps."
Mom "I know what you mean. That's why when you were sad, I used to bug you about what was wrong."
Me "Oh!"

Turns out she wasn't just bugging me for the hell of it.

What sad irony. We learn our parents' true intentions when we are no longer children.

Alex is a Christian!

He is in fact a Catholic. We had him baptized yesterday at the Our Lady of Sorrows church. It was lovely and I was very proud. Afterwards we had a little do at our place. Had a great time. I hope other people did too. It had been too long since I had a party. Glacia and Lyle came and both looked fab. Emma, Steed and Simon were there too. Simon is turning into a big boy.

I should have another party again soon. The only thing is that poor Alex was just exhausted at the end of it all. He went to bed at six and pretty much slept until six a.m., with breaks for water and being rocked.


And now this:

Your Sexy Brazilian Name Is

Janaina Pereira

What's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

The rebel in me

Wants to go shopping on the way home. Of course, the sensible girl in me knows that she better not spend any money.

It's stifling hot in this city. It has become apparent that we need to move away from Toronto. The hot hazy humid smog days are just insane this summer. I guess if it was only us, it would not matter that much, but I find the thought that Alex suffers under the heat unbearable. The poor little one gets so hot and sweaty and he gets a bad heat rash on the back of his neck, which does not go away with just kissing it. Don't know what's up with that. :( I pile zinc cream on it and that helps a little.

Been feeling slightly blue lately, for no particular reason other than I have no time whatsoever for anything. I wrote a letter to my aunt and uncle and it's been waiting to be posted for a week. I just don't have the time or the energy to put it into an envelope and send it out. And I have been meaning to write to Lorena since Easter and still have not done so. I got no money and no time. Sux.

TTC stories

Let me just say a few words about the TTC (that's the Toronto Transit Comission, for all you non Torontonians). The more money seems to be thrown at it, the more service sucks. Yesterday, two buses in the schedule on my route home did not show. They just didn't come at all. Then two came at once. One of which promptly short turned. I was on that one.
Lately, in the mornings my regular bus that comes at 7:15, has been showing up at 7:25. That's quite a change. Since there were no announcements of service change, I thought they were just late. On a hunch however, I checked their site. Sure enough, they changed the schedule without telling anyone. I ask you: is that good customer service? If you were running a business and your hours of operation changed, would you not tell your customers? Sigh. And this is a company that has the temerity to threaten a strike every few years. I say there should be a rival transit comission, one that offered better service at lower prices. See if they went on strike then!

Not a newlywed...

Arthur and I have been married two years now! It's crazy how fast that went. I remember when we were just married two months and thinking wow, six months that's a milestone. Meanwhile, it's been two years and feels like five minutes.

I am just in a Thursday afternoon slump now. Brain is fried. I am working on yet another project and I'm starting to burn out a little.

Still hoping I might go away to Europe for work for a few days, though the guilt connected with that would be humongous. As it is, I hate leaving every morning and waving bye-bye to my little angel. Sigh. But Europe! And alone time. I would love some of that. There, I am a selfish beast, but I am dying for a day just for me. A day to sit idly at Chapters and leaf through books. To get my hair done and have a coffee at Starbucks. To window shop leasurely. To just wander around the city, sit on a bench somewhere and not hurry. Ahhh, the luxury.

Been a long, long time

Yes, I know, but have been busy like a little bee. Work is goooood! I had to attend a three day tanning session (oh, yeah, poor me!) and have a course to go to this week at U of T. Ah, to relive those good 'ol student days! It's at FIS, where I never had classes, so kind of not reliving, but I did have class at Robarts my MA year, so that's close enough.

We are baptizing the little guy in early July. He is super cute and has two teeth! The teeth came in rather unexpectedly and he fussed very little so we were clueless that it was happening until I felt a sharp point poking through his gum! And lo and behold, he has two lower front teeth. He still bites everyone, so it's kind of painful.

Crap with this hot weather! I hate it. Can't wait for the cooler days. I resolved to finish my sweater in time for fall and when it's so hot, there's just no knitting. I miss it. Now of course, I keep seeing designs for cute little cotton tops and want to knit or crochet one for myself, but who am I kidding. By the time I get Alex to sleep, it's nine and then Arthur and I have an hour to ourselves before our bedtime. Sigh. Where does all the time go?

I like my job!

OK, so the new place is gooooood! These people actually care what I think and they want innovation. Rock on! And I get to do some instructional design! Rock on and on!

On the flip side, the commute is really getting to me. We need a car. We need it now. Today we had to take Alex to the doc for his six month visit with shots and all (sniff, sniff) and now I need to make up the time at work and the thought of being home so late... OK, it breaks my heart. I just want to be with my husband and baby! All you stay at home moms, you have it so good! At least in that respect. When I leave here, it's an hour and a half commute. :( Speaking of which, I better pack up.

Back to work!

I can't believe it's been six months. Leaving Alex at home all day will be the hardest thing in the world. Luckily, he will be with Arthur. I wonder how many times a day I will call home that first week.

Also luckily I will work shorter hours at my new job. Now here is the downer. We are all sick, sneezing and coughing and I can't even take anything for it because I am still feeding Alex. Also, must go to work Monday no matter what because it's my first day at new job. And Wednesday is my birthday. There, I said it. And it's got a five in it, so I suppose it's kind of important. And because of new job and everything, I can't take a day off or anything. I might buy myself a piece of cake at lunch though. Chocolate. So there.

Je le savais!

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's Your Inner European?

Got a new job!

Woohooohooo! I don't have to go back to Evil, who frankly lay people off every quarter and generally treat them like slaves. I will still be in the same geographic area though, the ends of the earth.

How appropriate is this!

I knew there was a reason I came here!

You're Canada!

People make fun of you a lot, but they're stupid because you've
got a much better life than they do. In fact, they're probably just jealous.
You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not
dying in the streets, and you end up securing these rights for yourself and
others. If it weren't for your weird affection for ice hockey, you'd be
the perfect person.
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Hmm, not quite sure I agree...

You're Anne of Green Gables!

by L.M. Montgomery

Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage
cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash,
honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt
your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with
kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters.
You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

A sad day

The Pope is dying. What sadness.

Goodnight sweet prince,
There is no sweetness in the sorrow of this parting.

Oh, no, they're on to me


congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I know, I know!

Yes, where have I been? My son had his second round of immunizations and cried very little, though in my heart I cried a lot. Then a couple of days later, he had a very bad day, was unable to nap and as a consequence super tired, so much so that he cried and cried and my heart almost broke. So, am now bleary eyed after having emerged from that little treat. It turns out that four hours of sleep a night is not enough after all.

Saw the "Truman Show" for the first time a couple of days ago. LOVED it! OK, I know that the rest of the world has seen it many times before, but my natural aversion to Jim Carrey has prevented me from seeing it hitherto. My husband praised it though and knowing his good taste, I gave it a shot and rightly so! Of course, I really do like JC now, after seeing "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" and "The Mask", but I did not for a long time before.

Made arrangements today to stop my maternity benefits when I go back to work. SIGH! This will be hard. I am already dreading it. Wish Evil was closer so I did not have to spend so long on the TTC, 'cause every minute out of the house is a minute away from my little boy! Who would have thought I'd be such a mommy!

Once again, with feeling

OK, now this time I did follow the rules.

I am from the bookshelf, from Cheerios and Vim.
I am from the second floor, from laughter and tickles.
I am from the tulip bed, from roses warmed by the afternoon sun, from the sleepy buzzing of bees.
I am from cupcakes for holidays and brown hair, from Seweryna and Krystyna and the Ebels.
I am from praising one's own cooking at parties and folding hands on your lap.
From your face will freeze that way and a cherry tree will grow in your stomach.
I am from crowded churches and shouted amens. From the smell of incense and the chink of money on the collection tray.
I'm from Warsaw and Toronto, from potato pancakes and red wine.
From the young mother leaving a suitcase with almost all she had in the world on a streetcar that goes round and round the town, the suitcase that came back with the driver on the next pass, and the cousin who dumped a whole bathtub of water on the kitchen floor in an effort to clean up.
I am from faded sepia photographs of ladies in stiff necked gowns artfully arranged on chairs in a suburban wood, precious pictures and mementos lost in two wars and countless moves until all that was left were words.

I am from

Thanks once again to glacia for the inspiration. Here is my feeble attempt. Now, I did not follow instructions, rather just went with the flow.


I am from snow and ice
I am from empty store shelves and line ups,
from grey crowds with expresioneless faces
who push ahead and dare not look behind.

I am from storks and larks and nightingales
From Slav melancholy and delirious happiness
I am from black eyes and piano plonaises
From floor polish and the smell of baking on a Christmas morning.

I am from rainy summers and cold sea waves, from sharp rugged mountains and fertile valleys
I am from veined hands and the clicking of knitting needles in front of incessant newscasts of party aparatchiks
I am from white bark of trees and sandy soils and cold river currents
I am from hard wood of train seats and sobs of streetcars on cold days.

I am the salt of the earth and the wind in the air
I am the bubble of the water playing in the fountain
I am the whisper of the leaf on the tree.

She chose Jerry!

Reminds me of a line in the movie Labirynth. These huge tree roots catch Jennifer Connelly as she falls through a hole and ask her which way she wants to go. She says down and they say "She chose DOWN?" "Is that wrong?" asks Jennifer. "Too late now!" the roots reply. That about sums it up for this season of the Bachelorette.

Abby's household is a stressful place these days. Arthur is sick, very much so and I am freaking out both about that and that he might make the baby sick too. Also am taking care of them both and just running ragged. My idea of a great time right now is to sit down with nothing to do.

Let my hockey go!

Enough already! I am not a hockey enthusiast, but even I am sick of the constant cancelled/not cancelled talk. Real fans must be really suffering. And absolutely have no sympathy for the players. A bunch of multimillionaires! Yeah, I know that your hockey careers are short, but when they are over, you can get jobs like the rest of us. Really, it won't kill you.

Bugs Bunny Anime?

I saw the proposal for the new, crime fighting Bugs of the future. He looks like a character from a Japanese cartoon. Please, please, leave Bugs alone! We love him the way he is!

Weird

So here is my take on the whole governor general issue. They better bloody apologize for throwing that kid out of the mansion! All he did was question her spending, which in a democracy he has every right to do! After all, she is spending our money, not her own! OK, maybe a bit rude to criticize her in her own house, but that's another matter and it certain;y did not merit a three day suspension from school. If I were the school's principal, I'd be pretty proud that my student is interested enough in his own country's politics to know about the issue in the first place. You go, kid!

Missed it!

I missed the Bachelorette. I got bored. I am not a reality TV junkie after all, so I cannot regale anyone with my impressions of Jen frolicking with her three guys. I am quite curious though which one she cut. My prediction is that John Paul and Jerry are still in the game. The funny thing is that I don't think she's really serious about either of them.

Instead of the B, I watched Cutting Edge, a really cute movie about a hockey player turned figure skater. Well, that might happen more often what with the NHL lockout and all. Heh, heh. Interestingly enough, the movie was directed by Paul Michael Glaser. Good ol Starsky, or was it Hutch. I confess, I don't remember which one was which. Sorry Jacquie. Anyway, the movie starred D.B. Sweeney, who I saw just recently in a sci fi thing. Never saw him in anything else other than that.

Tonight another movie is on that I really liked, Only You with Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. That was back in the days when he was not in jail for drugs. I saw that movie on a very mediocre date way back in university days. I have long since lost touch with the guy, but I still like the movie!

Valentine's Day!

Aww, yes the love fest. My hubby and I ecxhanged pressies this morning. We both got each other Ferrero Rocher chocolates. Great minds, what can I say. Besides that my honey bear got me a gorgeous locket in the shape of a heart. Ah, he knows me so well. I got him a Stargate SG-1 t-shirt and keychain. Thank God for shopping online or I don't know where I could have gotten them. He liked. :) So, life is pretty good and we'd have a night of hot amour if he didn't have to work. :(

Happy Valentine's Day, all you lovebirds out there. And you single folk, don't forget to treat yourselves to something fabulous!

Aww, God, sleep!

Though Alex will be three months old tomorrow, he still has not started to sleep through the night. And so at one in the morning last night I was confronted with a child with huge daytime eyes who wanted to play for a couple of hours. Ahhh, Gawd!

Too windy to go out and am consequently stuck at home once again. Tonight though one of my fave movies is on! Woo hoo, it's Amelie time!

More mushy stuff

...about my baby.

I just realized that I am totally crazy about someone who has teddy bear faces on his feet. Whose face totally lights up if you shake a rattle in front of his face. Who kicks his feet over his bum with gusto.

Also, it's incredible how difficult certain tasks are that previously I thought easy, like holding one's head up or sitting.

Must dash now as have squirming child in lap. Child is trying to eat my blouse.

Ah, the post Fabrice blahs...

I have to say I miss that crazy Frenchman. Last night's episode was truly uninspired. They tried to make an issue out of the fact that Wendell's family had a bit of wine to drink. Hey, if my son felt it necessary to take part in a reality show to find a wife, I'd be boozin too! Other than that, I still don't think Jerry is sincere and I think his family didn't like Jen. I like John Paul's house, but not him. All in all, I think she cut the best men out.

On to more important stuff. I have decided to cut chocolate for Lent. Let's see how long I last. That is with the exception of Valentine's Day choccy, 'cause it woudl be rude not to eat that.

Now must dash before my son drools all over my left arm. :)

Bye bye, Fabrice

I was quite surprised that Fabrice decided to call it quits, but must admit that I liked what he said. "I don't want to marry you and I see no reason in continuing." Jen looked like she might cry any second (though why?) . Poor Ben was the only one who was cut as a result. Not that I would have kept him. It is not fair though that he was the only one who did not get to spend time with her. I was glad she kept Wendell, the nicest of all of them, IMHO.

Next episode they are going to visit the men's families. Hmm, if Fabrice was still around, would she have gone to France? Would have been nice to keep him even just for that. Ah, la belle France!

Bachelorette update

Quite frankly, most of these men are bizarro, with Fabrice leading the pack. I think it was obvious to everyone, except maybe for Jen, that he was doing his best to score with her. The whole "I loved before but was hurt" act with the tears thrown in - oh puhlease people! And then he was all hurt and angry at the rose ceremony for being picked last? What was that? Hey, dude, at least you got a rose! And btw, only because you are willing to snitch on the other guys.
He does make things interesting though.

I'm glad Keith got cut. He weirded me out a bit. Really, the only guy I would pick from the bunch was the one she liked as a friend. His name eludes me unfortunately, so so much for being memorable, but he seems like the nicest guy of the bunch. I'm afraid though that she will go for Jerry.

In baby news... Alex is 9 weeks old now. He is sooooo cute and everyone says that, not just me. Of course, maybe they're trying to make me happy. He has his little cooing sounds now and said 'yeti' the other day. Maybe he's going to be a scientist.

Snowed in

OK, people, it's COLD! Yesterday about 25 centimeters of snow fell on Toronto. My balcony is totally covered, despite my efforts to keep at least a small area clear. Today it's sunny but damn cold. With the windchill, it's -34 C. Ouch!

I have been trying to keep my New Year's resolution of eliminating the clutter from the apartment and going through stuff to throw it out. I got rid of all the STC magazines I had. Thank God for electronic copies online. Also am throwing out all my cassette tapes. I never listen to them and already have a pile of CDs that I don't listen to. VHS tapes will be next. I must say that it feels cleansing to be shedding all this stuff. Unfortunately, I still don't see a major improvement space wise. All the surfaces of our home are still full of stuff.

I have discovered the major fear of motherhood. It's that somehow you will make a mistake that will affect your kid for the rest of his life. I swear, I never worried so much about someone as I worry about Alex. Every rash or every time he coughs, I worry. I suppose we should have another baby because if not, the poor guy will hardly have any breathing room with his mother worrying over his every step. I don't relish the thought of being pregnant again, however. Also, the birth experience is still pretty fresh in my mind and I have to say, erm, NO THANKS! Those were the longest 24 hours of my life.

Am actually anticipating watching the Bachelorette tomorrow. Oh, shudder. And the Supernanny after that. I have come to the conclusion that we are a generation plagued by helplessness. It seems there are reality TV shows about everything these days - from decorating to selling houses, from weddings to births to parenting. Can we not do anything ourselves? There are even shows about people who have such a mess at home that they require someone to come in and clear it up for them! (Neat, Clean Sweep) No wonder Dr. Phil is so popular. We actually have to re-teach people to solve their own problems. At some point there will be a mentality of giving up and waiting for someone to come in and fix your life. You look bad, have a TV makeover or even plastic surgery. Can't find a date, go on Matchmaker. Kids are out of control, call the Supernanny. It's the new era of talk shows. Instead of talking about it, you actually watch it. I suppose it's even more voyeuristic than Jerry Springer. I am not saying that I have not fallen into the trap because clearly I have. I would love Debbie Travis to make over my living room. I would love to be snatched off the street for a makeover. Most likely though I will have to do it all myself and I think I will enjoy it!

Bachelorette update

Sorry it's a little late. OK, Keith, the guy chosen by her friends seems nice. Other than that, there's a bunch of sad guys there! I mean, the one who gave her a pendant that was his mother's? What the heck was that about? You just met her! I would have given it back if I were Jen. Maybe she did. And the one who insisted on telling her he was a virgin! Bud, that was not an issue at the moment! I liked the way Fabrice acted when she gave him a rose, he was very typically French. I hope she does not choose him unless she doesn't mind being cheated on. He's a total player.
The cops being called in because the guys were being too loud was just bizarre. This promises to be quite a show.

In preparation...

for the Bachelorette tomorrow, let me just share my impressions from last week. The guy who asked out her best friend who he thought was a waitress - well, clearly hedging his bets there and can't say I blame him. Also, am I the only one to notice that Jen and Michelle look like they could be sisters? Same hair, similar figures, I mean, hey he went for the next best thing and did not have to compete with 24 other guys to get it. Make sense? Think so! Having said that, would I have given him a rose, um, NO!
David, the guy who fainted was totally hot! I mean, those steely blue eyes, the black hair... he looked like he should be on the cover of a romance novel. I was so disappointed that she did not pick him. Definitely glad that she did not pick that lush of a hairdresser. All in all, it looked like the guys had a lot of fun just by themselves and sometimes it seemed like Jen was de trop.

Yes, ladies and gents, I have fallen to the depths of bad TV and intend to follow this show to its bitter end. It won't be pretty, but someone's got to do it. Wonder if there'll be a wedding a la Trista and Ryan at the end.

Just shows how sheltered my life has become. Trips to a nearby Shoppers and to the doctor are the highlights of my week. Pretty soon the weather will be colder and I won't even be able to take the baby grocery shopping. Sad, sad. And that is why I pay homage to the little box with the glowing screen.

#&^%*( doctors!

Not only do they poke my baby with two needles in the legs, they want to do more. More needles, that is. OK, immunization is very important, but with today's technology, can we not come up with something that hurts my baby less? With all the cherry and bubble gum flavoured Tylenol and syrups, you'd have thought that there would be no need for shots with horse sized needles. And about the cherry flavoured sweet goop that passes for medicine, how is that for getting kids hooked on sweets? sigh

Lesson time

I get these epiphanies late at night while I am feeding the bebe. One of them is that true love is only loving someone when they are being crabby to you. Arthur is tired and hates his job and that makes him a cranky boy sometimes and as I am exhausted and emotionally vulnerable, I make a little too much of it. Ah, well.

Life really really changes after baby. I would have never thought that I would be able to sit for hours, holding someone's head on my arm, arm feeling crushed and losing all feeling and would be glad to do it. Or that I would get up at four am and feed and not feel resentful about losing sleep. Or that I could rock someone to sleep for half an hour, with pain in the back and aching arms because he weighs 14 pounds. It's a whole other world. All of a sudden what I wanted before is not exactly what I want now. Before ideal life: bohemian life in the city. Ideal life now: house in the burbs. Who woulda thought.

Well, I must dash on that note. I hear him crying for mommy and that's me! :)