Baby time!

Baby is here! I know all mothers say this, but he really is the cutest baby in the world. No, really! And birth was hard. I don't suppose I will forget how contractions feel for a while yet. They SUCK! And pushing for an hour and a half and still having a c-seciton sux too! But of course I forget all that when I look at Alex. Mind you, I remember when I touch my tummy, which is still swollen and tender around the incision. And now hello sleepless nights and four a.m. feedings.

I have to say that I was a little worried that I would feel the baby became the most important person in my life rather than Arthur after the baby came, but I find that I love him more still than before. He came through for me like a trooper through all this. He helped me through the delivery, sat by my head during the c-section, held the baby beside me and talked to me when I was almost unconscious and shaking uncontrollably. Then at seven in the morning, he went off home to get some sleep and then went to work in the afternoon.

We've been getting packages lately. One from each of Arthur's sisters with things for the baby and today a gift basket from Evil Corporation. It's got some clothes and toys. Looks pretty nice. Well, at least I got a basket if not my four grand. Hey, maybe the four grand is in there somewhere? :)

Baby watch continues...

OK, baby was supposed to be here by now! Where is baby? There is still a lot of wriggling going on in my tummy though. I guess that means he's still not ready. Grrrr!

Totally jealous of glacia now. She gets to do the literary woman thing yet again. Me wanna wrimo too! Instead I even have to wait for the mommy thing!

I do have to say that being at home is quite nice sometimes. I get to catch up on my junk TV watching. Mind you, I still have not gone down to the level of watching Maury yet, but if this baby waits any longer... I am at the stage of the Cosby Show and MASH reruns now. I have never liked soaps, so no danger there, but Oprah is starting to look awfully good. Speaking of TV, ER will be on in a moment and I must not miss it! Hopefully I can finish the sleeves of my sweater to some of these shows. The front and back are done, I just have to finish the sleeves and they are taking an inordinately long time. I don't understand why because they are narrower than front and back. Then comes the dreaded sewing of the sweater together and I want to finish the neck and sleeve cuffs with furry yarn for fun. If only I can finish these damn sleeves, that is!

Damn, damn, damn!

Nanowrimo is almost here and I can't participate! I had so much fun with it last year too. Well, killing off Dick felt really good, even though it was just on paper. Aw, I miss it!

In knitting news, I almost finished the back of my sweater and bought wool for my husband's sweater though I doubt it that I will be able to finish it before the bebe comes. This is OK, he says, as he is always hot and sweating anyway.

Spending time alone while Arthur's at work lets me catch up on TV viewing. I watched the "Biggest Loser" and I suspect that this is the kind of routine I will need to subject myself to after the baby comes to lose the weight. And also, ahem, has anyone noticed that Caroline Rhea, lovely woman that she is, is not exactly thin? Now I am torn. I think she's lovely as she is and there is no need for anyone to be stick insect thin, but on the other hand, perhaps someone like Tyra Banks might be a better person to host this show? That is if she can tear herself away from The Next Top Model. I don't even consider Kate Moss a good choice, because at the sight of her, nobody would participate in the show, I mean impossible standards and all. Besides, who wants a pre-pubescent body anyway. OK, now I am craving ice cream. Pardon me as I raid the fridge.

Freedom

Here it is, Tuesday and I don't have to go to work. Hah! Yes, you guessed it, bored out of my tree. I just don't deal well with not having stuff to do. I did the laundry today and made lunch for Arthur before he went off to work. And now here I am, with the sink full of dishes, in front of the computer, searching for a meaningful way to fill my time. Sigh.

In knitting news, my scarf has made marvellous progress. Just last night as I was waiting for Arthur, I must have added ten centimeters to it. The sweater has fallen by the wayside. I have to ask glacia how to make socks. I also have to get more yarn because I promised a sweater to Arthur in a fit of knitting enthusiasm. Actually, come to think of it, I should get a move on with all those projects because once little one arrives, there will be very little time for anything.

Watched Gosford Park for the third time last night. It's one of those movies that you don't fully 'get' the first time you watch. Even last night, I noticed details I had not seen before, but which add to the overall story. And of course, Derek Jacobi is always great, even though here he has but a minor role.

Well, off to see what's on the tube now.

Last day

...at Evil before mat leave. Am totally bored because I was stupidly efficient and finished all my work yesterday. Ah, well.

Had a lovely call from Australia yesterday, from Lorena who is also preggers. Now, after talking to her, I truly appreciate having this baby in Canada. She has to pay for her health care because she is still not a permanent resident and also they have a two tier system and the private part is way better than the public. So, she has to pay three grand for the birth and hundreds more for blood tests, ultrasounds and the like. Sheesh! She also said that women on maternity leave do not get any benefits from the government at all. I asked 'what about single mothers' and she said 'don't even get me started because my blood pressure will go up.' I guess it really is a country where men are men and women are too.

In knitting news, I am taking a break from my gray sweater to make a new scarf. The scarf is coming out really nice. The yarn is a little fuzzy and I am using the seed stitch, which gives it a lot of texture.

I know this day will drag though it's a short one (I have to leave at two to go to the doctor). OK, five more hours to go...

Now hear this!

Let me explain something to all the people that were weaving in and out of my lane on the DVP this morning. If you all merge into a lane that seems to be moving faster, it will immedately slow down! The best and fastest way of getting out of a traffic jam is to stay in one lane!

I'm turning into a driver! The horror!

Have a cold and am feeling rather misreable. :(

Ahh, the open road...

Or in my case, the jammed up Don Valley. I like driving, I do, but really trucks that carry sand should have their own lane and not spill sand all over small vehicles that are trying to follow at breakneck speed of 40 km/h. That's my early morning frustration, which I have to say is not bad, considering what idiots drive in Toronto.

I took advantage of having the car and went to Michael's at lunch yesterday to see if they had some cheapie wool. There was lots of neat yarn, but there was nothing cheapie about it. I really want to make a poncho, but I also really don't want it to cost me $80! Especially since I suspect that they will be out of fashion by spring. I ended up getting a skein of cool boucle sort of thing for a new scarf (yes, yet another one). Am making a sweater for me now and last night, I realized (two rows later) that I dropped a stitch. There'll be some taking apart to do today!

I can't believe next week is my last week at Evil before mat leave. It just doesn't feel real. And a month from today is my due date! That of course does not mean that I will have the baby then, but it does make me realize that I better get a move on with getting diapers and stuff. Ah, the fun of it!

No more fruit?

It seems that in an effort to save money, Evil Corporation stopped buying fruit for the employees. OK, danger sign. I remember when that happened at SS and things went down hill from there down to missed pay cheques. Not that I think that would happen here, I think they would lay everyone off before that. Still... it's worrisome.

Prenatal classes on the weekend. Can't say that I feel any more confident now, actually, feel less confident. It looks bloody hard and it's not like I can opt out of doing it. My mom helpfully supplied details from my birth where she says she only pushed for about ten minutes. Ha! I should be so lucky!

I just want to say that Toronto in the fall is one of the most gorgeous places. After the prenatal birth videos extravaganza, Arthur and I walked up to Bloor through U of T campus. Picture this: golden and red leaves, old stone buildings and azure blue sky. What could be lovelier!

Baby watch begins

Officially starting ninth month. Of course, thought I was going into labour this morning, but appears to be just a bit of tummy upset.

I have not written in a while because things have been SO hectic at work, that after I leave here, I don't even want to look at a computer. Not that things will slow down any in the next few days. Today after work Arthur and I must take my dad to the airport. Most likely will be home at ten-ish, which means another late night. Then tomorrow must be up early to go to the hospital for pre-natal classes. I really don't know what could possibly take two full days to teach, but maybe they'll be very thorough.

On the knitting front, have begun a sweater for myself finally. Now also want to make a poncho, but must go get some cheapie yarn for that, which may mean a possible visit to WalMart or Michael's. Hoping to go to Michael's sometime next week as will have car and can drive there at lunchtime.

Last night Arthur and I waged a war on fruit flies. For some weird reason there were tons of them in one corner of the living room. We investigated any possible sources and came up with squat. They could have come from the plants, I suppose. Finally Arthur had enough and went to the store to get some bug spray. We then had to spend the next half hour on the balcony, waiting for the lethal stuff to do its work. Luckily it was a lovely night and we enjoyed it. Came back to a fly free apartment and watched the new Stargate episode. Christopher Judge still gorgeous!

More hats!

Made another hat for BBB. This one is SOOOO cute, has a little round ball on the top. Arthur loved it. This baby will have more hats than anyone.

Counting the days left at work. Oh, are there really so many? Mind, we need the moulah. We got the crib for the little critter on Sunday, so at least he has a place to sleep. I also got some pacifiers, baby shower gel, baby nail clippers. We had gotten the baby bath a couple of weeks ago. So now the baby has a place to sleep, a place to bath and a place to rock (courtesy of the baby rocker my parents got me). OK, shopping for this stuff is fun!

Being pregnant in the last weeks of pregnancy - less fun: hip pains, huge belly, can't turn around in bed, blues and lots of other woes. Oh and stretch marks. :( Booo hooooo!

They're out in full force!

The TTC weirdos! Yesterday I felt very sick so I left work early. Well, on the Steeles bus a lady got on, a few stops after me. Now, I've seen her before and I know that there's a syndrome with her name on it, but yesterday it was just rampant. She sat down and would not let anyone else sit beside her by actually stopping them with her hand. There was a Chinese gentleman sitting two seats away from her, reading a Chinese real estate brochure. She grabbed it out of his hands and started to look at it. He says, smiling, "How can you read this, it's Chinese!" She ignored him for a while, then tossed the brochure back at him. Then a lady across the aisle took out a bottle of make-up and started to show it to her friend. Well, this slightly different but yet so interesting woman stretched her hand out to take the bottle from the lady! "Can I see?" she asked. Um, NO! Then she began gazing at me. Well, I was very close to throwing up as it is and must have given that impression because she left me alone. I made sure I got on a different subway car from her.

Geez! I think maybe these people travel outside of rush hours. Mind you, in rush hour you can still see a bunch of weird stuff.

Am working on 2nd baby hat and it's half done. Yay! I am knitting this one. Way faster than crocheting. We got the baby crib and mattress on the weekend. I can't believe there's only six weeks to go! Blows my mind.

On the minus side, I got new stretchmarks on my tummy. Sigh. What we won't do for the future generation!

I know, I know, it's been a while

But my silence as of late can be explained by my new desk at Evil. This is situated right across from a director who has a clear uninterrupted view of my screen. Yuck.

Went to a lovely stich and bitch at Glacia's. Had to leave early because I was exhausted, but still, had lots of fun. She and Mitzi walked me to the bus stop, which was lovely.

Evil held a breakfast yesterday morning for the Dev group, of which tech writers are part. It was pretty BORING! The food was good though. They made us play these silly games where we had to discover relationships between members of our groups. For example, find a person who has a relative with the same name as your relative. Eh? We drew a blank on that one. Or see who has the most legs in your houes. What? Needless to say, my team did not win.

One month to go to mat leave. Wooohooo! I will be shot of this place for at least a few months. That is certainly something to look forward to.

Giant baby

I not only finished the baby jacket, I finished the hat too! I followed the directions to the letter and the hat turned out enormous! I don't think he'll be wearing it at least until he's fifteen. And then a blue and yellow hat might not be to his taste. :) I don't have the strength to take it apart though. My mom said she'd do it. I have some yarn left over so I decided to make another (smaller) hat out of that.

Weekend was pretty uneventful. I watched Jeopardy last night to see what the fuss was about with that little genius Ken. Well, he's pretty fast, but most of the questions I got as well. His skill might be in not answering questions where he doesn't know the answer, but I need to watch a little more to be able to tell. The other two participants were left far, far behind though normally they would not have done badly. Perhaps now it's some sort of psychosis - they all know he's good and are subconsciously conforming to that.

We are so lucky

...in this city weather wise. I know a lot of people have been complaining about the coolness of the summer this year. Personally, I have loved the cooler weather. But at least we have no hurricanes! I just read what some people on my Lone Writers List are doing to get ready for Frances hitting land. It's all so far removed from us here in Toronto, but these people have to stack up on water, food, batteries, medications, supplies for their pets. And I guess worst of all they have to face the possibility that they will have to leave their homes and these homes may not still be there when they come back. It really puts things in a perspective. Give me cool summers any day! I don't have to stuff my most important posessions into one bag and look for a shelter and wonder if everything I own was just wiped out. We were so unprepared for the blackout last year. We barely survived one day with no power and we still had water. My heart goes out to people in Florida and the Carolinas. Hurricane Frances, go away!

On married life...

I just love being married. OK, love being married to Arthur. He's such a great guy. He's so hardworking too. If I were at home most of the time, I'd most likely just veg watching TV, but he re-works his websites and does his laundry and washes the kitchen floor. He even moved the fridge to clean under there. OK, I know this is getting boring, but I adore my husband. :)

Well, it turns out that I put on a slutty outfit today completely unconsciously. Both my pants and shirt are see-through. Anyone who wants to look, can find out easily what colour underwear I'm wearing. So, today I'm a prego who's coquetting everyone with the view of her sports bra. If at least I had thought to wear a sexy bra!

Yay me!

Yes, I finished the baby jacket. All I need to do now is put buttons on it. I even began the bunny hat already.

I also cleaned out about six months worth of old bills. I have a problem. Bills seem to take over various surfaces of my home. They're all paid, so I don't really pay attention to them anymore. I swear, they multiply. Yesterday I cleaned all of them out (sorted and put away into appropriate places) and a whole empty bookshelf emerged from underneath! This was very exciting because I had been feeling guilty that Arthur doesn't have enough space for his things. And voila, a whole shelf just for him. At least I won't be tempted to put new paid bills there.

I tried to dye a couple of shirts with Kool Aid. The colours were nice and intense until I rinsed them out and they became pastel-y and wishy washy. Maybe cotton doesn't take Kool Aid as well as wool. Anyway, now I have two t-shirts that smell intensly of cherry and grape flavours. Hee hee!

Some people are just weird...

Yesterday on my way back from the doctor's I got groped in the subway. OK, now I am in my seventh month of pregnancy. I am not thin. I don't wear sexy stuff, just comfy clothes and yet it still happens. The guy was standing behind me waiting for the door and I felt a distict hand on my behind. I turned around and looked at him in utter amazement and he had the audacity to give me a knowing smile. I was so stunned by the whole thing that I didn't say anything, just walked out of the subway car and went on my way.

Baby jacket is nearing completion! I sewed the shoulders yesterday and made button holes. Today I have to sew the sleeves and that will be it! Yay! Now mind, I made this jacket a little bit big. Arthur asked me if I was expecting our child to be chubby. I followed the stupid instructions and I think the baby will be wearing this at six months old and no earlier. Well, he'll grow into it.

What goes on!

Now people are being taken hostage at Union Station! There was a nut yesterday who first tried to shoot his wife and then when she got away, took a young woman hostage. There was a 40 minute standoff and in the end, the police gave the go-ahead to one of their snipers to take him out when he got a clean shot. That is what happened. Geez. It's like something out of Law and Order. One thing I like is that Julian Fantino was on the scene immediately. That man is such a great police chief. He gets his hands 'dirty' with actual police work. I think that's fantastic. I can't believe Miller is so petty as to not renew his contract just because of personal grudges.

In other news, the baby jacket is almost finished! I just have to sew it together and finish the edges and voila! On to the hat and then other projects. Yay me!

Ga ga over KoolAid

Glacia has me completely enamoured with dyeing wool with KoolAid. Who knew! The results can be totally funky, as proved by the many people who actually do it! And what a better way to go for something unusual and done by oneself. I need to try it! I am dying to try it. In fact, I am dying to dye it! :)

The snag is that it has to be real wool, which is pretty expensive. But I figure that I would not want a KoolAid sweater anyway, will go for the KoolAid scarf.

All this will come after I finish baby jacket, of course. Just half a sleeve to go now!

Never pass up a chance to educate

I went to the little crappy mall near Evil at lunch and saw a funny thing. There is a Jamaican woman there who has a little kiosk in the middle of the mall selling jewelry, quasi African paintings and pottery. Some Portuguese ladies were looking at the amber she had and asking for prices of things (very inflated). They touched some pendants, then some rings and then reached for bracelets and the owner actually slapped their hands away! "We don't grab the bracelets with our hole hand!" She exclaimed. "We touch gently with our fingers." I could not help but smile. I was close to the whole thing because I was looking at the chains she had. Too funny! The Portuguese ladies began commenting to each other in Portuguese, but I did not stay to see how the whole thing finished lest I get chased away for fingering a chain.

Quite cool for the dog days of summer.

In my newfound home diva role, I have taken to pickling cucumbers. I put them in on Sunday and because it has not been that warm, they are taking a little longer to pickle. Poor Arthur asks me about every five minutes if they are ready now.

My life in my own office is about to end. We are moving down to a floor with cubes and I will be a cube dweller shortly. I used to sit on that floor and had a cube neighbour who would whistle "Rule Britannia" over and over all day long. That is of course aside from listening to everyone's conversations. There is no privacy in cubes. That was the time I was planning my wedding, so I'm sure I also drove everyone nuts with calls to the caterers and the flower shop. Not to mention the hours I spent looking at dresses and veils on the net. It's a wonder I did not get told off for surfing too much. Oh, yes, that happens here, at Evil. But really it won't be for long. I only have a month and a half more before mat leave.

My lunch date cancelled our lunch today, which is bad because that means I can go and satisfy my McD's craving. Bad, bad! Evil McD's!

Ah, how I love long weekends!

Had a lovely lunch with Emma on Friday and then went shopping for panel pants. I love days off. Also love Thai food which we had for lunch at Spring Rolls. Emma looks good and you can tell she lost weight. I'm jealous. It seems like the time for me to diet will never come. Mind you, when that time does come, I bet I will be way too tired to diet or exercise. Such is the way of the world.

Baby jacket is progressing nicely. Have started the second sleeve! Once that's done, I can sew it together and it will actually resemble a jacket. Am knitter extraordinaire!

Arthur and I saw "Pay it Forward" last night. We stayed up until 11:30 watching it but it was worth it. I still don't like Helen Hunt though. Luckily she seems to have fallen out of favour in Hollywood. Well, probably not lucky for her.

Zzzzzzz....

Oh, to sleep! The further along I get in this pregnancy, the sleepier I am.

Belatedly this morning I realized that I put on the wrong clothes altogether. Stripes are not good. Am looking huge, in manner of beached whale. What will happen in two months!? I will look colossal. Baby is being very sweet and kicking up a storm. This is good. I'm supposed to monitor his movements.

Went to Mandarin for dinner with Arthur last night. We ate way too much, but it was yummy and his only chance to eat seafood. I can't stand the smell of it otherwise. Even tuna is iffy.

My friend Ewa in Poland had her second baby, another boy. I swear, people in Poland have no clue about communicating. She sent me an email yesterday saying 'sorry I have not written in so long but I just came back from mat leave.' That was the gist of her message. Nothing about what she had or what she did before mat leave. I have not heard from this woman in a year! I wrote back asking for some crucial pieces of info and today she wrote again with a little more. And this is not just her, I always get emails like this either from my aunt or my sister. Absolutely no pertinent info, just little earth shattering bits. Sigh.

I have realized that I have to buy the crib next month! Thank God IKEA delivers!

More shuffles at Evil

Chrissie left on Friday. We got an annoucement to that effect Monday morning. Luckily Pointy Haired One did not mention that fact at all in my one-on-one. I worried that he might ask whether I knew about it. He seems to be calming down (knock on wood).

The whole QA moved down to another floor and we are to follow. That means bye bye own office, bye bye window and plant. Sniff. I really think it's unfair! They will stick me down in a cube somewhere. Aargh!

Baby jacket has not progressed but I did buy materials for a sweater for me. I didn't start it yet though, promised myself that baby jacket needs to get finished first.

Had best time with Emma and her little monster on Saturday. He pretended to be a dinosaur and ran around the apartment going 'arrrggghhhh'. When asked what he was, he said 'arse, arse'. Clearly that meant dinosaur. Then we went down to the butterfly park where he consumed a whole orange popsickle making everything orange in the process and then looked at butterflies (buh-buh). Emma and I had a good girl talk. Love friendship! It's so renewing!

Oh, Fridays, Fridays...

And on top of that it's the 13th too. Would be kind of nice to have a mini blackout and get to go home early, but not to have the whole city blacked out. With my big belly, there'd be no walking home!

The Chrissy/sheikh saga is continuing and there is speculation that she will leave today rather than next week. That's if HR plays ball. Can't say I blame her. I'm sure with her thoughts she's already in the new job and doesn't want to deal with the crap being served here.

I am making progress on the sleeves (well, the one sleeve so far) of the baby jacket. There is hope that it will be finished by the time BBB comes. Can't promise the hat will be the same. Maybe the hat itself, yes, but don't know about the bunny ears decoration. Of course, I plan to keep this hat and when he grows up, will show him what he used to wear. Ha! Also the sleeper with the little pink giraffes.

Which flock do you follow?

Got through last week! Yippeee!

The reviews were over on time and we covered everything, to my utter amazement. The sheikh had said he had ever sooooo many comments and things were soooo wrong with the docs and yet, often Dev would say, well no, she's correct. Hah! I am not the stupidest person on the planet!

Was going to go to Glacia's stich and bitch but I felt sick on Monday. It must be the constant pressure and my body had had enough of it. I finished the baby jacket back and have started on the sleeves. Feeling very proud of self. Also, I finished the doomed hemp bracelet and by the time I was putting in the last knots, I realized that I actually learned how to do it. Now I must make another one and hopefully that one will look like it should.

Chrissy is leaving the Evil Corporation so the sheikh is breathig fire, but has to be sort of nice to me because he piled lots of extra work on me.

I'm reading the weirdest book by Anita Shreve. I realized that she has a thing about betrayal. Maybe she thinks it's interesting. Well anyway, the book is called "Where or When" and I almost stopped reading it because I find it very fanciful. Maybe looking at it from a happily married person's perspective, it just doesn't hold any charm. Anyway, I keep reading it to see how the lunacy will end.

Ah, wish it was Friday...

Oh, God, oh, God...

Another day of Abby-bashing. It begins at one and will last until 4:30! Arrrrghhhh! And the sheikh already warned me that I might have to schedule follow-up bashings. He's got that many comments. I remember once a guy from QA asked us why the sheikh makes so many irrelevant comments in these meetings. Hee heee! All we could do is shrug.

Evil Corporation is finally coming up with some sort of plan that might bring about success. How they went on as before for so long... Well, if this plan works, this may become a much better company to work for. It might even become a Less Evil Corporation, but I won't say that too loud so as not to jinx it.

Right before the bashing, there is a vent lunch with the girls, so I should come from that nice and confrontational. Dream job still is being on assignment for the National Geographic. Paris sounds like a good place to be on assignment. :)

Why, why do I work for dumb people?

The sheikh is on a war path. He seethes fire whenever he breathes. He doesn't even acknowledge people when he sees them in the hall. Of course, I found out yesterday that I have no clue about format or terminology and my style is completely different than his. Quite frankly what I wanted to say to that was "Eh?" I wrote the damn docs according to his formatting and tried my best to follow his stupid style. Clearly I failed because my style is different - better! But what I did say was "OK, I'll change it." He wants "an immediate turnaround on this", but he did not give me his comments, so I have to wait for today's 'axing' as our review meetings are affectionately called, for him to humiliate me in front of everyone. Then he'll give me the comments. It just makes me more and more stressed to think of it all.

In happier news, our weekend in the States was nice. It rained all Saturday, but Sunday was sunny and we went on the Arcade-Attica Rail Road, which was this historic train ride. The coaches on this train date from 1910 and the engine from 1947. The track is from 1867, so the train has to go very slowly and it wobbles a lot. It was lots of fun.

Ah, the joys of imminent motherhood...

I got a real taste of it last night - the swollen ankles, the painful back, the painful hips, it all hit me at once.  I realized how lucky I was up to now.  I think junior may have shifted position and is sitting on my kidneys.  I just hope he moves himself and soon! 
 
Things have been quiet at the Evil Corporation.  Salespeople went on a trip today.  I saw a bus at the front door and they all piled into it.  For a moment I considered pretending I was one of them and going too.  Rumours are that if heads will roll, it will happen Tuesday. 
 
Meanwhile, for me, it's dreams of the open road.  We're off tomorrow to NY and I can't wait.  Wish I could just take today to rest, but I fear pointy haired has other plans.  I am going to get creamed by him at the review meetings next week.  I can just see it now.  Sigh.

Pointy haired boss rears ugly head
 
Oh, yes, yesterday it was strongly implied that I don't know how to do much, possibly because I do nothing at all.  I smell a rat.  As Emma said I should print out the emails the sheikh sends me and then tell him, "I was asked to do this so I proceeded to do it, you stupid git, do you now wish to change your mind?  If so, I need directions by email, cc'd to God."  'Evil cackle'  Anyway, the rodent is that we have a new VP, a progressive new VP who wants to make changes.  I'm thinking someone was told to show more initiative and since most of the ideas that have surfaced in this department over the last year were mine, someone must either take credit for them soon or discredit me and make me look like a fool.  Well, he succeeded in the latter yesterday, though it was only in my own eyes.  Yeah, makes me want to rush right back from mat leave.  The other thing is that the new VP is not stupid and I think he can judge people pretty well and he got a good look at us all at the department lunch.
 
In other news... there is no other news.  My dad is going to Poland and I wish I were going too.  I would really like to show Arthur 'my fatherland'.  Alas, I have to contend myself with Belmont, NY for the weekend.  Hey, better than nothing!

Ahh, weekends...
 
I love them.   No need to go to work and stare endlessly at a computer screen.  Heaven. 
 
Poor Arthur had a very sore neck all day yesterday, so it wasn't much fun for him.  He had to put a hot watter bottle on his neck and there was a lot of massaging of the neck as well.  I crocheted while my poor love napped.  I finished the front of the baby jacket.  Ha!  Now I have to do the back, but I have to say the directions confuse the heck out of me.  Clearly this was NOT written by a tech writer.  Now, here's a thought, to write the directions for knitting patterns, does the writer have to knit the article him or herself first?  I mean, I always try to go through the procedure before I write it.  And chefs who write cookbooks have cooked the dish before so does that mean that knitting instruction writers have all the stuff knitted before they write?  Neat.  Where can I get that job?
 
The sheikh gave me more work to do, which is good because I was getting bored last week.  I handed out my docs for review and while that is happening was at a bit of an odd end.  I even started the third novel out of desperation.   I see now this will have to wait at least until the end of August.
 
Glacia is in BC and I am very happy for her and not at all jealous.  Arthur and I are off to see his dad on Friday and we're not back until Monday and I can't wait.  I only wish I was not this broke.

Cool site
 
Just found this cool new site with free knitting patterns.  There is definitely something for Glacia here, the doggie sweater.   Totally adorable, though somehow I don't see Mitzi as a sweater kind of dog.  Anyway, enjoy:
http://www.lionbrand.com/cgi-bin/lionbrand/index.fcgi?page=http://www.lionbrand.com/patterns/

Adios, Rodrigo
 
Rodrigo is the one that asked me if my husband was happy that I am pregnant and whether I am afraid of labour and all kinds of other stupid things.  He's also the one that would come to my office and complain endlessly about the fact that he has no future at the Evil Corporation.  Well, turned out it was true.  They canned him yesterday.  And apparently a replacement is starting next week, so it's not like they got rid of his position or anything.  I am sorry that he lost his job, but I do have to say (and yes, I feel totally guilty about it) that I am relieved not to have to see him anymore. 
 
Getting totally addicted to Sex and the City.  Yeah, I know, I only notice a trend when it's passed.  But really, it's quite clever.  I always thought I'd like Charlotte the best because I would most like to look like her, but now I realize that I like Miranda best.  She's funny and smart and most like me in character, I think.  I am totally not like Carrie and though I did have some Samantha days when I was younger, well, those days are long gone.
 
Cannot wait for the long weekend!  Yesss!  We can get away.  If only we were not so broke...

Hot muggy days
 
Oh, those yucky days of humidity are upon us!  Here are the days of sweat and sticky clothes and frizzy hair.  Poor Arthur will suffer in out hot apartment all day and so will the ferret, though she will suffer even more because she doesn't like showers and she doesn't sweat.
 
I made progress on the baby jacket last night.  Yay!  I wish I had a digital camera and could share pics of how it's going, but alas the next major purchase will be the crib, not a camera.  So you'll just have to take my word for it that I began making one of the fronts.  Now it's actually beginning to look like a jacket.
 
Uncharacteristically for me, I imagined that I would do something better than I did it in real life.  I was talking about this with Emma once and she said that in her head, she's always perfect while I said that in my head I don't know how to do anything.  Well, I took her example, albeit in a very small matter.  I bought myself one of those hemp necklace making kits.  (Of course, Emma would say) In my head I imagined myself making it and then maybe applying the technique to another medium (silk chord, for example) and making gorgeous pieces of my own design.  Well, I failed misreably.  The stupid hemp does not want to look like the picture at all.  The knots are flat and small and not nice and puffy like in the instructions.  Damn.  There goes my foundation for building an international jewelry empire.  Back to tech writing.
 
Rumblings at the Evil Corporation are not good lately.  Apparently the sales numbers are once again disappointing and as quarter end approaches, what does that mean?  Say it with me: 'lay offs'.  And I don't even have a hemp jewelry making operation to fall back on. :(

Interminable Fridays
 
Feeling distinctly 'off' today.  Whatever that means.  Symptoms are: falling asleep at desk, staring into space, fantasizing about beaches, not giving a damn about system parameters or C/C++ programs that a user can call to do all kinds of things.  Can they clean my house, do dishes, go grocery shopping?  No!  Well then, they're not that good, are they?
 
Oooh, thoughts of running away... If one could just pick up one's husband and a bag of carry on luggage on the way to the airport and then take the first international flight available...  Wonder where we'd end up, maybe Paris or Bali?  Reise fiber should not be the worry and excitement of travel, it should be what you get when you don't get enough travel.  That's what I have!
 
Had a boo at Topshop yesterday.  Oooh, nice!  Quite a few items I would like to have myself.
topshop.uk
 
Then in my travels today I found a website for two women who make stuff out of hemp and sell it. 
http://www.hempjewelryshop.com/
They make bags, hats, jewelry.  How very cool.  They have a gorgeous tapestry with the tree of life, which I would love to have, but will not buy because they don't list the measurements.  It might turn out to be a 5cm square!  I should mention that I bought myself a hemp necklace kit yesterday, hence the interest.  OK, new vision, Maggie, the environmentally friendly jewellery designer.  I could walk around in long batik flowing dresses and grow my hair long.  On the other hand, I'd rather do the minimalist black look, with just one stunning accessory, designed by me, of course.

Did I mention I need a creative outlet? 

Women's Lib

Something I read in glacia's blog has made me stop and think. And I warn you now that none of these conclusions are startlingly new or original. She quoted a line from the Brady Bunch movie Women's Lib means we get everything we want. Or words to that effect. Excuse me, what idiot came up with that? This is what I have: a full time job where the manager needs to 'put me in my place' at every opportunity, a 3 hour commute every day and a bun in the oven, which though magical and fabulous, will mean a slash in my finances. This is what I want: a house, enough money to be able to take a year off to write my next novel, a holiday in Europe and booze, damn it, booze 'cause I miss it! I want to sashay in Prada boots through the best streets of the world. I want to be in Paris one day and London the next.

So, what does one do with such disparity between reality and dream? Well, strangely enough, I consider myself one of the luckiest women on the planet. I have a wonderful husband, a roof over my head, a place of safety in the world, and so far, food a-plenty (we'll see what happens when I go on mat leave). I am up on at least 80% of women in the world. My country is not at war. My largest political concern is to complain that McGuinty added OHIP fees. I have it great.

This is about the place where I start losing sight of my point.

Oh, God, what did I let myself in for???

Saw Emma on Saturday with her husband and offspring. The child (a boy) is almost two and pretty spoiled. Emma is a very loving mother and I can only aspire to be this dedicated to BBB once he comes into the world three and a half months from now (really, is it that soon?!). The child is bent on self destruction. During the four hours we spent with them, he hurt himself three times and one time required ice and the mopping up of some blood droplets. I only hope they are not all like that. Emma's boy is as cute as a button and pretty smart. But, OMG, I just don't have the strength for a child like that.

Baby jacket has not progressed and I am officially blaming the heat. I can't crochet if my hands are sweating!

Had team lunch on Friday and Evil Corporation picked up the tab, which was nice, but it also meant that we had to stay and listen to the sheikh and the VP discussing work processes until five! The waitress had given us a bill and did not show up again lest we ask for more drinks/food. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and in one of the rare moments when one of them drew breath, I said 'well, on that note, shall we...?' My dear colleagues must have agreed heartily because they all jumped up in unison as the sheikh was checking his watch and expressing surprise that it was almost five. Oh, my friend, I've been watching the painful progress of time for the last two hours! So much for leaving early. Good thing these events are quarterly.

Blog...interrupted

I was rudely interrupted while blogging yesterday by the fact that all power at Evil Corporation was about to go off. We were told to turn off our machines and wait. Later it turned out that water was also shut down and then even later, the phones. At one, the CEO took pity on us, trapped in a stuffy building in the dark, and sent us home. Yippeee. I like unexpected early days. You feel like there's all this freedom.

Just read my friend Jacqueline's blog. Too funny.
Glacia blog

I have to totally agree, Britney is an idiot.

We should all trust President Bush. Especially those of us like me, with no brain in their heads.

Thank you, Britney, for that sad comment on North American pop culture.

Oops, I put 'poo culture' by mistake at first. Well, yes, Freudian slip there.

Trekkies and Bush tales

The Toronto Trek Convention weekend.
Got to the hotel at about 11:30 on Saturday and first thing I did was stumble on a photo session with Christopher Judge. Got in line like a good girl and came away with trophy photo of said Christopher and moi. How cool is that? Then ran into him once again in the hall as he was being escorted back to his room. He's a real fun guy too. Even his step was bouncy.
Chris Judge
Hooked up with Arthur after that and we lunched and hung out. There was little to see this year, and nothing to buy (horror!), but I did get a couple of cute woolly piggies made by one of the dealers. I would have liked to buy a Stargate keychain but the woman wanted $17.00 for it! No way, man! Not for a keychain.
We stayed until the end of the masquerade (had to, Arthur was working in the Green Room) and then at nine we got a cab to come home.

Fahrenheit 9/11
Wow is all I can say. I wonder what kind of reaction this film is getting south of the border. The theater was full on Sunday when we went to see it and people clapped at the end. One begins to wonder how different Bush is from the Saudi royal family, with his nepotism and waging war for his own interests. It's scary. Our own icompetent PMs suddenly look very attractive.

Ah, Canada

The first Canada Day with Arthur as permanent resident. We took a walk to the lake and I realized just how much being pregnant takes it out of you on a hot day. Whew! This really is the toughest physical thing you can do. More and more I feel like I am carrying an extra person, which of course, I am.

I get to go to TorontoTrek this weekend. Get to see people dressed as Klingons. Now these are about the ugliest aliens ever. It beats me why someone would want to dress like them. There is even a Klingon language which these weirdos, um, I mean fans, learn and speak.

But Christopher Judge is supposed to be there, woohooo! That man is soooo gorgeous.

Needless to say I am bringing a book with me to read when I have had my fill of Trekkies. Arthur is going to be busy with his activities there and he says he will put on his Jaffa costume as well. Emma was supposed to come too and I wish she would, but I think they are going to Ottawa this weekend. She came a couple of years ago and we had quite the time. Mostly we shook our heads sadly at the 'regulars' and at the actors peddling their own photographs in the dealers room. We attended a Mars landing presentation, which turned out to be one big sales push for the company that produces one little part of the landing gear. When people started asking questions and the presenters addressed them BY NAME, we slinked away. Then we had a lovely lunch and that was pretty much our day. Watching Klingon Karaoke is just not the same when you have nobody to turn to and laugh your head off. :(

Election

Well, the election has come and gone and Martin went from a majority government to a minority one. I sometimes wonder why people call elections. Look at Eves. He gets into power and almost immediately calls an election, thus losing himself power. Now unfortunately we are stuck with McGuinty and the Fiberals for the next whole term.

Beats me why Martin did not ask McGuinty to hold off on announcing that we would be paying for OHIP and that he would slash services anyway. He might have had a majority government if McGuinty had waited and announced it after the federal election. I don't get politics.

On the home front, baby jacket is not really progressing and that's because mommy read her book last night instead of working on said jacket. Poor baby is going to be born and have no jacket! I have to hurry up and finish it.

Stupid developer now claims he didn't provide info because the release is not actually on Monday. Well, nice of him to tell me that. Here I was busting a gut to get things done by Monday. Ah, well. Four more months to go! ... and counting!

Boat cruises

Evil Corporation took us on a boat cruise last night around TO harbour and into the lake for a bit. There was food, which was so-so, there was booze, which I could not have and then there was dancing. So, here are my observations.

Some spouses really do look alike. I swear, if you separated these people, I would still know who belongs with whom. There was a couple of beak noses, a couple of long sticks with glasses, a couple of rotund red-neckers. It was bizarro.

People who have had some booze look really goofy when they're dancing. As I was absolutely and completely sober, I was able to observe everything very clearly and some people just look plain funny when they dance.

Door prizes donated by our clients are really pathetic. There were maybe two things I would have liked, but not the hand blender (got one) or the cheese board (got two) or the Xerox bag and t-shirt. We won nothing, so it's a moot point.

The best thing was when it stopped raining and the sun came out making a lovely double rainbow and washing downtown in waves of orange light. It was quite gorgeous out on the water albeit chilly.

Now I have to suffer through the next seven hours trying not to fall asleep and hoping yesterday's ass of a developer condescends to give me some information so I can finish the documentation of his product. Joy.

Just like the good ol' days

It always amazes me that developers think that tech writers will learn things by osmosis or something. They can put down minimal information about something and the tech writer will just guess from that what the new feature does. And guess correctly mind you, or else they get in a huff. It reminds me of the old SmartSales days when developers saw me as the 'girl writer'. More and more I think that Joe was right and freelancing is the way to go. That way if they don't provide information, it's clear that they're only hurting themselves. And the new VP wants shorter development cycles. Yeah, right.

The thing is that I don't feel confident as it is, so I blame myself that I did not read the dev mumbo jumbo correctly. Luckily I remember that Chrissie had the same problem where she wrote stuff and they crossed it through and said 'wrong'. Well then, tell me what's right! There's always Starbucks, I guess.

I need to quickly publish a bestselling novel or three or five. Basically, I need to be J.K. Rowling.

Nice government

Yes, yes, the government came through and Arthur got his permanent resident card yesterday! Oh, there'll be dancing on the streets and champagne flowing! That is there would be, if we didn't have a prenatal class today.

I am now telling all and sundry that I'm pregos. I am still not really showing though. I am 20 weeks, that is half way there!

The little jacket and hat I am making is not really progressing. I have about 3cm. Sigh. Good thing I bought green yarn and not pink, as we're having a boy. I hope he won't mind that one sleeper with pink giraffes. :) I suspect that he will spit up on it just as well as on blue bears.

Bad day for riding the subway yesterday. I swear, you can't make this stuff up! When I got on there was a gentleman already there who was very overserved, but was generally quiet, that is until a woman got on who used a small raisin box to whistle. She emitted these extremely high pitched whistles in frequency of about every two seconds. Well, the man, in a clear effort to quiet her, whistled as well, but very loudly. The woman, ecstactic that someone was playing along with her, whistled all the more. They whistled to one another like that for two stops and then the man got fed up and got off. Well, she continued to whistle until another woman asked her to please stop. At this point Whistler's sister, started to sing at the top of her voice and clap her hands. She got tired of it after about ten stops and went back to whistling. Luckily it was time for me to get off.

Rodrigo is really starting to bug me. This morning he asked me to correct cover letters he will write for himself when he applies for other positions. OK, that's not unreasonable in itself, but he creates such an atmosphere of panic when he talks about 'the future here is so uncertain and there are no new projects coming up.' OK, bud, I know it, but I don't necessarily want to hear about it! I do not need the stress right now. I think I will do my best to avoid him from now on.

Arthur is now a permanent resident. Yippeee! I am strongly hoping that this will lead to a job for him soon. Oh, boy, that would be good.

I did not gain any weight in the last month and that's good. Mind you, I'm sure that I will gain some soon enough. Monday is the ultrasound to find out if it's a little boy or girl. I'm excited and can't wait!

Turns out Lorena is pregnant too. She sent her wedding photos and announced she's due in mid November.

People are exercising in the parking lot of the TD bank across from us. Hm. Wondering if these are TD bank employees and if not, why in heaven's name are they exercising here?

Power Rangers Movie!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla


Hee heee!

Yesterday's loooong meeting just confirmed the fact that marketing big wigs have no clue. At least here at the Evil Corporation they don't. Sat through an hour of endless discussion on the superiority of RIMs over phones and how POP mail is impossible to get on a RIM and is a messenger even a feasible thing. Let me just clarify, Evil Corporation does not make RIMs. As the initiator of the discussion was a Senior Director, nobody dared change tack, though I was sorely tempted to say, 'yes, but the REASON we're here is to discuss specs!' And put that damned Blackberry back in your pocket, we all know you have one, stop showing off. I bet he has a big car too.

Watched season finale of West Wing last night with its requisite cliff hanger. How refreshing it would be if a major show opted to end a season without a cliff hanger! OK, I know all about having expectations met, but sometimes I could go for a little originality.

Finally someone realized I'm pregnant based on my belly! Maybe he was tipped off before, but he clearly pointed to the belly and said, 'oh, I didn't know because you didn't show before.' Yay! Of course, I was sliding off the chair at the time, which always makes my belly look bigger, but it counts all the same! How do these women do it that only their tummy looks pregnant and not the rest of the body? I have pregnant calves! Guess I'm just extra special.

I think ultrasound machines are the best invention of the century! We went to see our little one on Friday and actually got waved at. OK, OK, sceptics would say that's impossible, but hey, I saw it!

Major layoff at the Evil Corporation last week. It took them three days to finish it.

I should really take example from Glacia and start knitting things like little socks for example or little hats. I would not have the first idea what size to make them though. :)

Had a nice chat with Emma today. Her work environment is even worse than mine. I guess I should not complain too much. Occasionally the sheikh talks down to me (like yesterday) and he's all serious and displeased with me (like lately), but at least I can have a telephone conversation with someone without the whole office hearing it. Are there no good places to work?

Having a low confidence day yet again. Feeling very blonde, which is not like me. Also am not blonde. I think in this job I've had more days like this than in any other job I've had. Mostly this must be because I am finding it hard to muster up enough interest to do what I need to do. I've been with Evil Corporation for over a year and I still feel new.

OK, also finding it hard to concentrate when it's hot and sunny outside and I have the prospect of shopping later. To tell the truth, I'm bored!

Finally, a sunny day! Yesss!

I really think that mothers to be should also be celebrated on Mothers' Day. Are we not mothers? Do we not carry the next generation? I was told by my own father though that this did not count and that Mothers' Day is to be celebrated by children for the mother, not by husbands and other family members. Hmph! I think only Emma agrees with me. Mind you, on TV, it's all about expectant moms as well as those who already have their children.

Waiting patiently for meeting with the Sheikh. Tu du du du du du du, tu du du du du, tu du, tu du tu du... Jeopardy tune.

So, probably like most people I have mixed feelings about the last Friends episode. How predictable that Rachel did not go to Paris after all! And why oh why did she come back to be with that loogan who has to mention 'unless we're on a break' at the moment they reunite. Turn yourself right around, honey and head to Paris. After all, it's a city filled with Gunthers. ;)
It was quite sweet to see Courtney Cox so obviously pregnant. She looks so much better when she's not skeletally thin. All in all, the scene in the hospital stole the show.
Anyway, that's my take on it. I also predict that "Joey" will be cancelled after the first season.

As birthdays go, yesterday kinda sucked. In retrospect however, I realize that it's because I had such impossibly high expectations. I suppose that mature and adult people realize that being showered with presents and affection just because you happened to be born on a certain day, is rather unrealistic. People have their own lives and your birthday is not as magical to them as it is to you. So in that light, expecting people to show up with cakes and baloons is just nuts. Certainly, bawling incontrolably because it did not happen makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Must be the baby hormones. I swear, I can be happy as a clam one minute and totally misreable the next with no apparent reason.

Anyway... found all the forms Arthur needs online and the poor guy will have to fill them out now (something he loathes) and then go and stand in line at the various government offices. At least most of them do not require fees with the notable exception of the drivers' license.

Christopher Judge is coming to Toronto! And we are going to see him. I better procure a photo asap. I am counting on the fact that I'm pregnant to be able to sneak in past the long line of authograph fiends. That man is just so gorgeous. I realize that it's not him, it's the whole persona of Teal'c, but hey!

I wonder how Glacia would take it if I asked her to knit a blankie for baby. :)

I do not understand why my hips and thighs are getting bigger. Well, OK, the bagel, muffin and ice cream may have something to do with it. But really, there is no baby on my hips. No need for them to get bigger! Of course, tummy is not far behind. In fact, I am sad to report that I am losing my waistline.

The sheikh has gone for the afternoon so I guess it will be zzzzzzzz time for me. I was worried that he took only the afternoon off because in the morning there might be firing squads. Perhaps there were, but I heard nothing.

Trying hard to come up with a way of taking a vacation and not spending any money. It's proving very difficult. Damn hotels are SO expensive! I wanted to go to Halifax or even Ottawa. All hotels are about $100 a night. B&b's are about the same. Damn!

Oh too funny, Chrissie just left too. You can tell when the sheikh is not here!

Being sick sux. Not being able to take anything to make yourself feel better sux even worse. It all puts me in a foul foul mood. I can't even have a hot toddy to warm myself up. Pregnant people can't do anything! Grrrr!
I was all miss grump last night. Arthur offered to make me chicken soup and I told him not to put any weird vegetables in it. Last time he put in some sweet potato. He's so sweet. I love him so!

Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting older, but increasingly I notice how tactless people are. Yesterday Rodrigo asked me if Arthur minded that he's not working and not able to contribute financially. No, Rodrigo, he loves it! What do you think? Obviously he hates it! What is wrong with people? I mean do I go around asking him if he likes the fact that his wife couldn't 'stick it out' with him and left after eight months? Grrr!
I also don't make sure I enumerate to Gina all of her problems and keep saying 'you must be so stressed' all the time. But then that one is a regular little ray of sunshine. No matter what she says, it come out negative.
OK, done griping for the moment.

Italian scientists have discovered that the reverse side of the Shroud of Turin also contains an image of the face and hands of Jesus or whoever was wrapped in the shroud.

http://www.iop.org/EJ/news/-topic=735/journal/1464-4258

Interestingly, some say that this can be proof that the Shroud is authentic. It is sure to spark more debate.

No enlightened answers emerged yesterday. Obviously things like the queen of England and the most read writer in the world are not options. I wonder who is the most read writer in the world. Hm.

The search continues.

Sometimes I have the irresistible urge to run away. Then I come to the question - who would I be if I were not me. Suppose that there was an accident and everyone thought I died in it, but of course I didn't. Would I go back to my life? In the end I think I would because I would not want to live without Arthur. But let's just suppose that I didn't. I could start my life from scratch. Who would I be?
Or what if I got amnesia and could not remember any of my past including upbringing and childhood. I could become someone completely different. I would have no ingrown fears and inhibitions because everything would be starting anew.
I guess what I'm saying is that I want a new start of some kind. I want a change, a good change. There are some patterns in my life that are bringing me down and I want to get rid of them. Running away would be a lot easier though.

Manners are officially a thing of the past. All the farty people in this city were riding the subway with me today. Whatever happened to holding it until you get to a bathroom?! No, instead they regale everyone with their essence.
Of course, on the other side from farty boy on the Bloor line, sat a lady who had an accident with a perfume bottle. Clearly all the contents of it had spilled on to her and she had no time to shower to get the stink off before she boarded the subway. So, here were my alternatives, breathe in the human aroma or the concentrated flowery sticky sweetness of some knock off perfume, which made me sneeze uncontrollably. I tried to breathe in the small area of space between the two pungent passengers and prayed for Yonge station to come soon.

Three days of training. My brain is about to ooze out of my ears. The trainer, Jumba was from Nigeria and had a very interesting accent. Sometimes I could not quite catch what he said. It took me a while to realize, for example, that Elia Vachon, whom he insisted on talking about was in fact 'earlier version'. It kept making me think about Prescious Ramotswe. On top of it he kept referring to certain processes as 'this thing' and that made me think about "The Gods Must be Crazy". All, in all, quite pleasant reminiscing there. But of course I could not do that for three days. Am quite tired now. Learning is a very energy consuming process. Maybe will take a snooze at my desk...Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Been feeling sick like a dog. Riding buses is especially challenging, with all the smells of people around and the sudden breaking. This morning I thought I was going to throw up then and there. Ah, the joys of impending motherhood!

Something is falling outside, hard to say snow or rain. It's yucky.
Been reading about the dogging and toothing trends in the UK. Weird. OK, these people must be seriously bored with their lives and reckless. I bet occurence of STDs has jumped. I may have the odd fantasy about the sheikh or two, but hey, I would not actually act on one.
Have no idea why I do have fantasies about the sheikh, btw. He doesn't have blue eyes, which I love and his nails are a little long, which I detest. And he has pudgy fingers. This is the first time I see pudgy fingers on a man aside from Bary. But Bary was very pudding like all over. The sheikh is certainly not pudding-ghy. And he's tall, so that's a definite plus. He has big arms too.

Watched Austin Powers 2 last night with Arthur. Well, I started it, but got so sleepy that I had to go to bed at 9:30. Anyway, found it sad and boring. Dr. Evil is still the best character. Austin himself totally not funny. And for this I missed Frontline!

Saw "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind". Loved it. Arthur didn't like it that much, probably because it did not beautify everything. Things were not pretty, and even the people were not so much either. Kate Winslet really did not look good in blue hair, but that was not the point. She was good in the role. Jim Carrey ditto. He's quite an attractive man when he's not making weird faces.
Anyway, it was a concept that kept me thinking for a while, being able to erase certain memories. That makes those events disappear. After all, how do we know something happened to us except by our memories of the event. And then interesting observations about love - the love was not erased though the memories were.
Had lunch with Ned and his girlfriend. They are so cute together. When she comes by, he just completely changes, even his body language does. I bet he doesn't even know. They've been together longer than Arthur and I too.

Met an interesting woman on subway today. I see her at the bus stop every day and met her through the lady from the community center. She has quite a different point of view on the work world as she works in HR for a large company, one that actually does business with Evil Corporation. They're both a client and a service provider. I guess I've been in IT for too long now and forget that people work differently. That is, they don't stare into a computer screen all day. Must be nice. And of course, being in HR, she wants to find everyone jobs.

Can't wait to get away on the 26th. When has the five o'clock world become the six o'clock world? I guess I really had it good at LightSpeed. Is anyone actually more productive because they work longer? I bet it's the reverse. It is in my case! :)

Wept while listening to a Chieftains song today. These hormones, man, they make you crazy!

Emma told me to call her if a kitten commercial makes me cry at three in the morning. Well, looks like that just might happen. She said 'be sure to say kitten' and then she would know.

Also, I could do without these damn headaches. Oh, and why do people have to have the stinkiest food around here. It makes me want to gag.

Well, fight with Evil Corporation is over. They offered me a more decent raise. I was a little shocked at how fast they acted. They didn't even call me in, just made an offer, which I took. No need to piss them off unnecessarily. I would have LIKED more (especially in present circumstances), but let's not be greedy. What they offered was a raise and not a slap in the face this time.

Just came back from the mall and boy it's cold and windy! Good thing this is not supposed to be spring yet, 'cause it doesn't feel like it!

OK, people just have no clue about sensitivity. Not only do they keep asking me about having a baby ("so, anything yet? how about now? how about now?") they tell me I should colour my hair 'because it's starting to look grey'. Yeah, what else? Do I look fat? Can you see my wrinkles? Grrr!

A pea in the pod.

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Got sucked in to watching the Oscars on Sunday. Mind you, I only watched the red carpet thing and then half an hour of the ceremony (Billy Cristal is losing his touch). Then Arthur wanted to watch Stargate. I have to say that Christopher Judge gets cuter with every episode. Good thing they did not kill his character off or I'd be seriously upset. Anyway, as I looked at all the gowns and jewels, I realized that it no longer has the same excitement as ten years ago.
I am making progress. Today I went to J-town after lunch and did not buy any jewelry. Of course, the fact that my new ring came yesterday as well as my new Burberry pouch may have had something to do with it. I stuffed the envelope it came in into my closet. It's not that Arthur would disapprove, I'm sure he would not, it's more that I'm ashamed that I can't control myself.
Oh, this day is going slowly!
Watched "Awakenings" last night for the nth time (that is until Arthur came in and we watched Airline). What a great person Oliver Sacks is and how terrible that the encephalitis patients re-lapsed. I saw an interview with one of the patients a few years ago. It was a woman who had the Parkinsonian tremor and it was so strong that she could not even comb her hair. Makes me wonder what good I am doing. Here are all these people who need help, who are trapped in their bodies and minds. I do provied help, I even provide Help. Just not to the needy.
Glacia and I had a discussion about the Niagara short story contest. Neither of us has any ideas for a story, but I say I am not going to participate on the grounds that you have to pay. I mean, if it's a contest, you should not have to pay to take part. She saw through my rather thin charade.

Grey Monday. Have done dick all all morning though I had the best intentions to be productive. I did have the best intentions to come up with lots of ideas, but all I came up with was a lame-o checklist.
Emma is doing a Clara on me. I have e-mailed her several times last week and called and got no replies. It's Clara's birthday on Wednesday. Mind you, after the lack of communication from her after Christmas (no card or even a thank you for the present we sent), I really don't see why we should send anything. I'm a big softie though. Even if Emma doesn't get in touch, I will send Clara an e-card.
The battle plans for more pay are raging. I found on monster that I should be making 48K. I'm afraid that the company will just ignore my requests. After all, they ignored the sheikh's recommendation that I be paid more.
Did get a Burberry cosmetic bag after all. Hee hee! It's coming to the house. I am really a shopaholic!

OK, out of control on the shopping thing again. I need so many things and it's spring (new clothes!). I need a new shower curtain and new curtains for the bedroom would be nice as well. I would also like a new weekend bag (do NOT need that!) and a pink t-shrit like Drew Barrymore's in 50 First Dates. We need new pillows for the bed. Aaarrghhh!
By the way, typing this as I'm waiting for the auction on Burberry cosmetic bag to close. Hope I get it, but I saw two others as well and if I do not get that one, will buy another one. Sigh. I love shopping.

Oh, boy, life in corporate Canada is not easy. He my yearly review. The sheikh was all praise for my little endeavours, but unfortunately the salary review did not match the performance review. Now this is a large multinational corporation. One would think they would have the money to give me a raise of more than 1%! Yep, it was insulting. Emma was right. Compa ratio is a number that tells you how much HR will screw you over. In this case, royally. Even HRDC says I should be making more than I am. Sigh.
The sheikh was rather embarrased about it. I could tell he felt like crap having to tell me how little I would get. He said if I wanted to appeal and present arguments for why I should get more, I should. I will!

My marathon session with the sheikh seems to have paid off. Monday we spent another hour and a half talking about review meetings and how they should be handled. He spoke with the other team members and got some 'interesting' answers. His word. My guess is they did not agree with him and that was a surprise to him. Anyway, we are to speak about it in the next team meeting. Chrissie asked me if I was the one that brought this up as clearly he had asked her for her opinion. We had a chat and it was good. We both feel that our method is best. At least, it is for us.
Called Emma yesterday, but she was away from her desk. I am not doing as well as I should be with the novel. I was going to own up, but as she was not there, maybe I can write like mad and pretend that I was following the 500 words per day plan. I still really want to write the other book. This is the trouble with me. I start one and then have ten ideas for others that I want to write more than the one I am currently writing. Bother. How does P.D. James deal with it?

Dreamt about Toby. I wonder if he's still married to that Japanese girl who told him she was dying so they got married and then found out she wasn't. What a story. I wonder if he would have married her otherwise. From what he said when we talked about it, no. He said she told him she had six months (how very cliche, but of course if it was true, how very devastating) to live and that was why they decided to get married. Hm.
Must have dreamt about him because I remembered that time we had dinner and told each other all our secrets. That was the last time we met.

Have an axing meeting today or a 'review' meeting for one of my docs. Let's see how this goes. I wonder whether the sheikh will let me know how the others feel about those. I raised the point in our last meeting. He did get a little defensive. He's really open, but I suppose it's also only natural that he defend the status quo. I am clearly out to rock the status quo. Who would have thought that I would be such an innovator.

Sometimes I wonder whether I am truly naive. I know Emma has it all figured out, but I have no clue why someone would show me he's not interested romantically and want to be friends and then when I am fine with that, he wants to be involved romantically or not at all. He was lying either then or now, is the answer, of course. I don't get men.
Met Igor this morning on the subway. He's sweet in a fatherly way. He sat with his knee digging my thigh for a while and then realized it was inappropriate and moved. I could not move for lack of space.
Had a two hour meeting with the sheikh yesterday. We discussed the whole moderating meetings issue. He seems to be open to discussion on the topic. I had no idea how long it took until I got back to my desk and realized that it was four!
Emma says she might be pregnant again. I'm a teeeny bit jealous. It's her second and what about me? Not even a flutter. Not that we can afford me being on mat leave with Arthur not working. Crap!

Wrote Charlie, though I know I should not have. I just wanted to let him know about LightSpeed. No opportunities there for him anymore. Speaking of good ol' LS, I went up there yesterday and the door was unlocked, so I had a look. They painted it yellow with green trim (yuck!) and got rid of all the partitions and desks (they are stacked in Randall's office) but other than that it looks the same as before. I even went into my old office. The kitchen is also pretty dismantled though I guess they are keeping the microwave.
I ran into the Grand Poobah in the elevator yesterday and he told me the sale of LS has not gone through, but they have someone interested in investing. NOOOO! NOOO! It's the same old stupid nightmare again!
Coming up is the first married Valentine's Day! I am keeping an eye out for a little gadget for Arthur. Might use one of the sex coupons.

Of course, the sheikh is here today, unlike other Fridays and freaks me out whenever I see him. Good thing he's wearing those squeaky shoes and I can hear him come from far away.

F#@^k! Once again I find out I had to do something after the fact. How the heck was I supposed to know that they use the title tag? And that I was supposed to update it? I feel like a big flake. And the sheikh explains everything to me in a calm voice like to a child. I feel all dysfunctional! Maybe I am special needs.

Yesterday afternoon Rodrigo came to my office to apologize for some dreamed up thing. He hoped he did not offend me by saying he had practiced saying a Polish name to impress me. As if, my friend! He worried that I thought he was being flippant and disrespectful. Now, OK, I am the last to notice these things, but all joking aside, I think that he might like me a bit.

It did not work, I went and talked to Rodrigo and Pablo. Pablo is married as well and is very sweet. The sheikh also came in and passed by. Danger, danger, danger.
Hm, this gives me an idea for a new book...

Blogging at work certainly has its challenges.
Major thing is that the package that came for Arthur is just software he ordered, not what I feared.
I must be the most impatient woman in the world. Once I decide something, I want it NOW. Arthur and I have been 'trying' for two months, which is a very short time, but I'm already wondering why it hasn't happened yet. My hormones are probably not even working normally yet, for God's sake and I am thinking up other possibilities like adoption and whatnot. I wonder if other women feel that way. The standard response is 'wait and relax and then it will happen'. Well, it's kinda hard to relax! I do hope I was not misguided enough to say that to another woman. Mind, the first time it was so easy. In fact, I fervently did not want it to happen and of course it did.
Must say hormones are doing strange things these days. Have been imagining the sheikh in the buff and liking the mental image. And I can hear Rodrigo's voice in the kitchen and am doing my best to not go there and be admired. I do think he likes me. This is why I have not responded to his offer of lunch yet. I can see danger lurking. If it was only as simple as with Randall. I think that is the purest friendship I have ever had.

A big day with the sheikh yesterday. He came into my office twice, dragged me to a meeting where it was absolutely obvious I was not needed. Then of course, I had the usual meeting with him in his office. In a very small way he reminds me of Randall. Randall used to insist I was involved with everything. He was so lovely. If he was not so totally platonic toward me, I would totally have fallen in love with him. But perhaps not. Even when he held my hands in his at the coffee shop that one time, I felt nothing but warmth and friendship. Mind, Barry had quite a face on when he saw it.

I have had a grump on for the last week about how little I belong here, how Chrissie and them stay in their room and hardly ever come out while I am all over the place, meeting people. Well, it came to me this morning that maybe I intimidate them. I can hardly believe anyone would be intimidated by me. I mean, doe eyes and everything. Most men think I am but a little woman lost in a big world. How can that be intimidating? Well, but that's men for you. Luckily Arthur does not act this way. Anyway, maybe that's it.

Had a fab time with Emma on the weekend. She is so great! Coming back we had a bit of a road cone incident. We howled with laughter! Suffice it to say, there is now an orange road cone behind my building. It doubled as the snowman's hat for a while, but I think the children were not amused! :)

A strange day at work yesterday. Lots of shuffles at the top. People now report to other people and some rather less than happy faces were to be seen, the most noticeable to me of which was my boss, the Sheik. Perhaps though he is only upset because John John is leaving. It will be a relief not to have John John checking up on everyone first thing in the morning.

It all put me in a very restless mood, very decided to look elsewhere for employment. I'm afraid turning tricks on the street is not an option in this cold, so it will have to be something much less lucrative. But hopefully no less exciting.

I thought about blogging a bit and have to confess that I am fascinated by the fact that people are willing to let others read their diaries. Not only willing, but hopeful that others will read it. A bit of a sad commentary on our times, I think. The other interesting part is that people actually WANT to read others' scribblings. What is it about a diary or journal that makes it so interesting? I am drawn to read other blogs too. Don't think that I'm immune! And after all, there is a reason why I made this a public blog rather than a private one!

I need a new job. I have done nothing original in a year and that's bad. Ever since I started here, I have been doing nothing but updates of other people's documents and then on review, it turns out that the updates may be correct, but the other people's stuff is not and I get the blame. F#$#^k it! It's time to go. OK, OK, if I got a huge raise, I might stay, but as my meager salary according to HR is market value, that does not seem likely.

Also, I work with people who do not talk. Not that I am the world's biggest talker. They just sit there at their desks. The only time I found out anything about Chrissie or Jon was at the Christmas lunch, after they had a glass of wine. Oh, yeah, and Chrissie and Jon go for coffee together always. Their desks are located about ten feet away from the coffee machine, I might add, but they clearly need each other's support as they navigate the treacherous hall area. My private opinion is that they're doing it. At least I think she wants to. Can't think why, maybe it's to stroke that peach fuzz he calls hair.

I've been here for seven months and I still feel like I don't fit in. OK, so I'm having a moan. It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to. I better write a bestseller soon so I can get out of here!!!!

I am back to my red/blonde self after an intense session at the salon yesterday. Whew! It feels good. Arthur liked it and thought it was sexy. Wait til he sees what I have in store tonight!
Feels like I dropped another pound or two by the way the pants sit on my thighs today. Not to worry though, I'm sure they'll be back by the end of the day. How is it that one is thinner in the mornings? Is it because we don't eat at night? Does this mean that anorexics were right all along?
Bloody stupid government posted a delay in processing papers of 216 days! What the heck is that? Does anyone work there at all? How can I get a job at a place that says oh, yes, we'll deliver a product to you, but it will be 216 days late? And that's OK with everyone! It's expected! Maybe next time I'm supposed to deliver a document, I'll put together a website and ask people to check in on it so they can see what kind of delay they're looking at. Aaarrrggghhhh!

Oops, I see I already wrote about what Charlie said. I must be obsessing about it. Would not be the first time.
The ten pounds gained over the holidays is only seven pounds now, but that means I can't have any choccy and I WANT it I NEED it! This sux!

Having day full of doubt. Started second novel and am absolutely convinced that it's a worthless piece of crap. Who can read such drivel?
Parents came on the weekend and of course mom insisted on speaking Polish to all and sundry. Poor Arthur. I know well how he feels. He bore it well though.
It's such a grey day outside. I almost didn't want to put on my new boots because it's so snowy. Then remembered that this is why I bought them.
I keep thinking about something the African said (OK, from now on he'll be known as Charlie, I can't keep writing the African all the time). Charlie said he had a good time with me. Hah! High time to say it. Now that the relationship is over, he tells me! I suppose that's because now it's safe. Men are so weird.

Today should be a day of inventing new metaphors for the cold. It's colder than an Alberta meatlocker. No, wait, that might not be true. Snicker.
My eyeballs actually felt cold on the way from the bus to the building. Nassty weather. And yet it looks so sunny and benign out there.
It comes to me that I may have to begin inventing things to write about. Everyday life is well... everyday. I do not receive visits from old love interests daily. Nor presents from would be admirers either. Those chocolate cookies were yummy btw. Arthur loved them. I had a couple as well since I adore shortbread, but as the Christmas ten pounds is taking its time in coming off, I did not have that many.
Well then. My visit to Paris last night was quite nice. I stayed in a small hotel near the place de Vogues. I just love that area. It feels like something out of "Notre Dame de Paris", possibly because it is so near Notre Dame. Arthur and I took a walk by the Seine and had a nice dinner in the Quartier Latin. Why is it that wine tastes better in France? A quick stop at the Galleries Lafayette before dashing back to the airport this morning. I didn't really buy anything, well just a bottle of perfume, just to say I got something in Paris.
Sitting at my desk at work is quite mundane now.

I cannot believe that I forgot the password to the other one. Ah, well, no matter.

The African came to see me on Tuesday. I was rather shocked. I have not seen him in two years. And here he pops up out of the blue. Heart flutter going up to reception to see him, but then pretty much OK. It certainly was not like in the past when I just could not keep my hands off him. He gave me a peck on the cheek. We went down for coffee. I think it was a cheer up visit for him. It was a fall back visit. He brought up our TTC trips way back when. He said he had a good time. So did I, mate. Too bad you were so bloody cold.
All in all, this confirmed the fact that Arthur was a good choice for me. Though he has already managed to get my mother all in a huff.

Then yesterday, Rodrigo came into my office, bearing a parcel and with a bit of a goofy grin took out a little package for me. I have not had such attention from men when I was single! Well, maybe that's it. Anyway, Rodrigo I think wanted to hug me, but I didn't. It's work after all.