Oh, no, they're on to me


congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
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I know, I know!

Yes, where have I been? My son had his second round of immunizations and cried very little, though in my heart I cried a lot. Then a couple of days later, he had a very bad day, was unable to nap and as a consequence super tired, so much so that he cried and cried and my heart almost broke. So, am now bleary eyed after having emerged from that little treat. It turns out that four hours of sleep a night is not enough after all.

Saw the "Truman Show" for the first time a couple of days ago. LOVED it! OK, I know that the rest of the world has seen it many times before, but my natural aversion to Jim Carrey has prevented me from seeing it hitherto. My husband praised it though and knowing his good taste, I gave it a shot and rightly so! Of course, I really do like JC now, after seeing "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" and "The Mask", but I did not for a long time before.

Made arrangements today to stop my maternity benefits when I go back to work. SIGH! This will be hard. I am already dreading it. Wish Evil was closer so I did not have to spend so long on the TTC, 'cause every minute out of the house is a minute away from my little boy! Who would have thought I'd be such a mommy!

Once again, with feeling

OK, now this time I did follow the rules.

I am from the bookshelf, from Cheerios and Vim.
I am from the second floor, from laughter and tickles.
I am from the tulip bed, from roses warmed by the afternoon sun, from the sleepy buzzing of bees.
I am from cupcakes for holidays and brown hair, from Seweryna and Krystyna and the Ebels.
I am from praising one's own cooking at parties and folding hands on your lap.
From your face will freeze that way and a cherry tree will grow in your stomach.
I am from crowded churches and shouted amens. From the smell of incense and the chink of money on the collection tray.
I'm from Warsaw and Toronto, from potato pancakes and red wine.
From the young mother leaving a suitcase with almost all she had in the world on a streetcar that goes round and round the town, the suitcase that came back with the driver on the next pass, and the cousin who dumped a whole bathtub of water on the kitchen floor in an effort to clean up.
I am from faded sepia photographs of ladies in stiff necked gowns artfully arranged on chairs in a suburban wood, precious pictures and mementos lost in two wars and countless moves until all that was left were words.

I am from

Thanks once again to glacia for the inspiration. Here is my feeble attempt. Now, I did not follow instructions, rather just went with the flow.


I am from snow and ice
I am from empty store shelves and line ups,
from grey crowds with expresioneless faces
who push ahead and dare not look behind.

I am from storks and larks and nightingales
From Slav melancholy and delirious happiness
I am from black eyes and piano plonaises
From floor polish and the smell of baking on a Christmas morning.

I am from rainy summers and cold sea waves, from sharp rugged mountains and fertile valleys
I am from veined hands and the clicking of knitting needles in front of incessant newscasts of party aparatchiks
I am from white bark of trees and sandy soils and cold river currents
I am from hard wood of train seats and sobs of streetcars on cold days.

I am the salt of the earth and the wind in the air
I am the bubble of the water playing in the fountain
I am the whisper of the leaf on the tree.

She chose Jerry!

Reminds me of a line in the movie Labirynth. These huge tree roots catch Jennifer Connelly as she falls through a hole and ask her which way she wants to go. She says down and they say "She chose DOWN?" "Is that wrong?" asks Jennifer. "Too late now!" the roots reply. That about sums it up for this season of the Bachelorette.

Abby's household is a stressful place these days. Arthur is sick, very much so and I am freaking out both about that and that he might make the baby sick too. Also am taking care of them both and just running ragged. My idea of a great time right now is to sit down with nothing to do.

Let my hockey go!

Enough already! I am not a hockey enthusiast, but even I am sick of the constant cancelled/not cancelled talk. Real fans must be really suffering. And absolutely have no sympathy for the players. A bunch of multimillionaires! Yeah, I know that your hockey careers are short, but when they are over, you can get jobs like the rest of us. Really, it won't kill you.

Bugs Bunny Anime?

I saw the proposal for the new, crime fighting Bugs of the future. He looks like a character from a Japanese cartoon. Please, please, leave Bugs alone! We love him the way he is!

Weird

So here is my take on the whole governor general issue. They better bloody apologize for throwing that kid out of the mansion! All he did was question her spending, which in a democracy he has every right to do! After all, she is spending our money, not her own! OK, maybe a bit rude to criticize her in her own house, but that's another matter and it certain;y did not merit a three day suspension from school. If I were the school's principal, I'd be pretty proud that my student is interested enough in his own country's politics to know about the issue in the first place. You go, kid!

Missed it!

I missed the Bachelorette. I got bored. I am not a reality TV junkie after all, so I cannot regale anyone with my impressions of Jen frolicking with her three guys. I am quite curious though which one she cut. My prediction is that John Paul and Jerry are still in the game. The funny thing is that I don't think she's really serious about either of them.

Instead of the B, I watched Cutting Edge, a really cute movie about a hockey player turned figure skater. Well, that might happen more often what with the NHL lockout and all. Heh, heh. Interestingly enough, the movie was directed by Paul Michael Glaser. Good ol Starsky, or was it Hutch. I confess, I don't remember which one was which. Sorry Jacquie. Anyway, the movie starred D.B. Sweeney, who I saw just recently in a sci fi thing. Never saw him in anything else other than that.

Tonight another movie is on that I really liked, Only You with Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. That was back in the days when he was not in jail for drugs. I saw that movie on a very mediocre date way back in university days. I have long since lost touch with the guy, but I still like the movie!

Valentine's Day!

Aww, yes the love fest. My hubby and I ecxhanged pressies this morning. We both got each other Ferrero Rocher chocolates. Great minds, what can I say. Besides that my honey bear got me a gorgeous locket in the shape of a heart. Ah, he knows me so well. I got him a Stargate SG-1 t-shirt and keychain. Thank God for shopping online or I don't know where I could have gotten them. He liked. :) So, life is pretty good and we'd have a night of hot amour if he didn't have to work. :(

Happy Valentine's Day, all you lovebirds out there. And you single folk, don't forget to treat yourselves to something fabulous!

Aww, God, sleep!

Though Alex will be three months old tomorrow, he still has not started to sleep through the night. And so at one in the morning last night I was confronted with a child with huge daytime eyes who wanted to play for a couple of hours. Ahhh, Gawd!

Too windy to go out and am consequently stuck at home once again. Tonight though one of my fave movies is on! Woo hoo, it's Amelie time!

More mushy stuff

...about my baby.

I just realized that I am totally crazy about someone who has teddy bear faces on his feet. Whose face totally lights up if you shake a rattle in front of his face. Who kicks his feet over his bum with gusto.

Also, it's incredible how difficult certain tasks are that previously I thought easy, like holding one's head up or sitting.

Must dash now as have squirming child in lap. Child is trying to eat my blouse.

Ah, the post Fabrice blahs...

I have to say I miss that crazy Frenchman. Last night's episode was truly uninspired. They tried to make an issue out of the fact that Wendell's family had a bit of wine to drink. Hey, if my son felt it necessary to take part in a reality show to find a wife, I'd be boozin too! Other than that, I still don't think Jerry is sincere and I think his family didn't like Jen. I like John Paul's house, but not him. All in all, I think she cut the best men out.

On to more important stuff. I have decided to cut chocolate for Lent. Let's see how long I last. That is with the exception of Valentine's Day choccy, 'cause it woudl be rude not to eat that.

Now must dash before my son drools all over my left arm. :)

Bye bye, Fabrice

I was quite surprised that Fabrice decided to call it quits, but must admit that I liked what he said. "I don't want to marry you and I see no reason in continuing." Jen looked like she might cry any second (though why?) . Poor Ben was the only one who was cut as a result. Not that I would have kept him. It is not fair though that he was the only one who did not get to spend time with her. I was glad she kept Wendell, the nicest of all of them, IMHO.

Next episode they are going to visit the men's families. Hmm, if Fabrice was still around, would she have gone to France? Would have been nice to keep him even just for that. Ah, la belle France!

Bachelorette update

Quite frankly, most of these men are bizarro, with Fabrice leading the pack. I think it was obvious to everyone, except maybe for Jen, that he was doing his best to score with her. The whole "I loved before but was hurt" act with the tears thrown in - oh puhlease people! And then he was all hurt and angry at the rose ceremony for being picked last? What was that? Hey, dude, at least you got a rose! And btw, only because you are willing to snitch on the other guys.
He does make things interesting though.

I'm glad Keith got cut. He weirded me out a bit. Really, the only guy I would pick from the bunch was the one she liked as a friend. His name eludes me unfortunately, so so much for being memorable, but he seems like the nicest guy of the bunch. I'm afraid though that she will go for Jerry.

In baby news... Alex is 9 weeks old now. He is sooooo cute and everyone says that, not just me. Of course, maybe they're trying to make me happy. He has his little cooing sounds now and said 'yeti' the other day. Maybe he's going to be a scientist.

Snowed in

OK, people, it's COLD! Yesterday about 25 centimeters of snow fell on Toronto. My balcony is totally covered, despite my efforts to keep at least a small area clear. Today it's sunny but damn cold. With the windchill, it's -34 C. Ouch!

I have been trying to keep my New Year's resolution of eliminating the clutter from the apartment and going through stuff to throw it out. I got rid of all the STC magazines I had. Thank God for electronic copies online. Also am throwing out all my cassette tapes. I never listen to them and already have a pile of CDs that I don't listen to. VHS tapes will be next. I must say that it feels cleansing to be shedding all this stuff. Unfortunately, I still don't see a major improvement space wise. All the surfaces of our home are still full of stuff.

I have discovered the major fear of motherhood. It's that somehow you will make a mistake that will affect your kid for the rest of his life. I swear, I never worried so much about someone as I worry about Alex. Every rash or every time he coughs, I worry. I suppose we should have another baby because if not, the poor guy will hardly have any breathing room with his mother worrying over his every step. I don't relish the thought of being pregnant again, however. Also, the birth experience is still pretty fresh in my mind and I have to say, erm, NO THANKS! Those were the longest 24 hours of my life.

Am actually anticipating watching the Bachelorette tomorrow. Oh, shudder. And the Supernanny after that. I have come to the conclusion that we are a generation plagued by helplessness. It seems there are reality TV shows about everything these days - from decorating to selling houses, from weddings to births to parenting. Can we not do anything ourselves? There are even shows about people who have such a mess at home that they require someone to come in and clear it up for them! (Neat, Clean Sweep) No wonder Dr. Phil is so popular. We actually have to re-teach people to solve their own problems. At some point there will be a mentality of giving up and waiting for someone to come in and fix your life. You look bad, have a TV makeover or even plastic surgery. Can't find a date, go on Matchmaker. Kids are out of control, call the Supernanny. It's the new era of talk shows. Instead of talking about it, you actually watch it. I suppose it's even more voyeuristic than Jerry Springer. I am not saying that I have not fallen into the trap because clearly I have. I would love Debbie Travis to make over my living room. I would love to be snatched off the street for a makeover. Most likely though I will have to do it all myself and I think I will enjoy it!

Bachelorette update

Sorry it's a little late. OK, Keith, the guy chosen by her friends seems nice. Other than that, there's a bunch of sad guys there! I mean, the one who gave her a pendant that was his mother's? What the heck was that about? You just met her! I would have given it back if I were Jen. Maybe she did. And the one who insisted on telling her he was a virgin! Bud, that was not an issue at the moment! I liked the way Fabrice acted when she gave him a rose, he was very typically French. I hope she does not choose him unless she doesn't mind being cheated on. He's a total player.
The cops being called in because the guys were being too loud was just bizarre. This promises to be quite a show.

In preparation...

for the Bachelorette tomorrow, let me just share my impressions from last week. The guy who asked out her best friend who he thought was a waitress - well, clearly hedging his bets there and can't say I blame him. Also, am I the only one to notice that Jen and Michelle look like they could be sisters? Same hair, similar figures, I mean, hey he went for the next best thing and did not have to compete with 24 other guys to get it. Make sense? Think so! Having said that, would I have given him a rose, um, NO!
David, the guy who fainted was totally hot! I mean, those steely blue eyes, the black hair... he looked like he should be on the cover of a romance novel. I was so disappointed that she did not pick him. Definitely glad that she did not pick that lush of a hairdresser. All in all, it looked like the guys had a lot of fun just by themselves and sometimes it seemed like Jen was de trop.

Yes, ladies and gents, I have fallen to the depths of bad TV and intend to follow this show to its bitter end. It won't be pretty, but someone's got to do it. Wonder if there'll be a wedding a la Trista and Ryan at the end.

Just shows how sheltered my life has become. Trips to a nearby Shoppers and to the doctor are the highlights of my week. Pretty soon the weather will be colder and I won't even be able to take the baby grocery shopping. Sad, sad. And that is why I pay homage to the little box with the glowing screen.

#&^%*( doctors!

Not only do they poke my baby with two needles in the legs, they want to do more. More needles, that is. OK, immunization is very important, but with today's technology, can we not come up with something that hurts my baby less? With all the cherry and bubble gum flavoured Tylenol and syrups, you'd have thought that there would be no need for shots with horse sized needles. And about the cherry flavoured sweet goop that passes for medicine, how is that for getting kids hooked on sweets? sigh

Lesson time

I get these epiphanies late at night while I am feeding the bebe. One of them is that true love is only loving someone when they are being crabby to you. Arthur is tired and hates his job and that makes him a cranky boy sometimes and as I am exhausted and emotionally vulnerable, I make a little too much of it. Ah, well.

Life really really changes after baby. I would have never thought that I would be able to sit for hours, holding someone's head on my arm, arm feeling crushed and losing all feeling and would be glad to do it. Or that I would get up at four am and feed and not feel resentful about losing sleep. Or that I could rock someone to sleep for half an hour, with pain in the back and aching arms because he weighs 14 pounds. It's a whole other world. All of a sudden what I wanted before is not exactly what I want now. Before ideal life: bohemian life in the city. Ideal life now: house in the burbs. Who woulda thought.

Well, I must dash on that note. I hear him crying for mommy and that's me! :)

Baby time!

Baby is here! I know all mothers say this, but he really is the cutest baby in the world. No, really! And birth was hard. I don't suppose I will forget how contractions feel for a while yet. They SUCK! And pushing for an hour and a half and still having a c-seciton sux too! But of course I forget all that when I look at Alex. Mind you, I remember when I touch my tummy, which is still swollen and tender around the incision. And now hello sleepless nights and four a.m. feedings.

I have to say that I was a little worried that I would feel the baby became the most important person in my life rather than Arthur after the baby came, but I find that I love him more still than before. He came through for me like a trooper through all this. He helped me through the delivery, sat by my head during the c-section, held the baby beside me and talked to me when I was almost unconscious and shaking uncontrollably. Then at seven in the morning, he went off home to get some sleep and then went to work in the afternoon.

We've been getting packages lately. One from each of Arthur's sisters with things for the baby and today a gift basket from Evil Corporation. It's got some clothes and toys. Looks pretty nice. Well, at least I got a basket if not my four grand. Hey, maybe the four grand is in there somewhere? :)