Something is falling outside, hard to say snow or rain. It's yucky.
Been reading about the dogging and toothing trends in the UK. Weird. OK, these people must be seriously bored with their lives and reckless. I bet occurence of STDs has jumped. I may have the odd fantasy about the sheikh or two, but hey, I would not actually act on one.
Have no idea why I do have fantasies about the sheikh, btw. He doesn't have blue eyes, which I love and his nails are a little long, which I detest. And he has pudgy fingers. This is the first time I see pudgy fingers on a man aside from Bary. But Bary was very pudding like all over. The sheikh is certainly not pudding-ghy. And he's tall, so that's a definite plus. He has big arms too.

Watched Austin Powers 2 last night with Arthur. Well, I started it, but got so sleepy that I had to go to bed at 9:30. Anyway, found it sad and boring. Dr. Evil is still the best character. Austin himself totally not funny. And for this I missed Frontline!

Saw "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind". Loved it. Arthur didn't like it that much, probably because it did not beautify everything. Things were not pretty, and even the people were not so much either. Kate Winslet really did not look good in blue hair, but that was not the point. She was good in the role. Jim Carrey ditto. He's quite an attractive man when he's not making weird faces.
Anyway, it was a concept that kept me thinking for a while, being able to erase certain memories. That makes those events disappear. After all, how do we know something happened to us except by our memories of the event. And then interesting observations about love - the love was not erased though the memories were.
Had lunch with Ned and his girlfriend. They are so cute together. When she comes by, he just completely changes, even his body language does. I bet he doesn't even know. They've been together longer than Arthur and I too.

Met an interesting woman on subway today. I see her at the bus stop every day and met her through the lady from the community center. She has quite a different point of view on the work world as she works in HR for a large company, one that actually does business with Evil Corporation. They're both a client and a service provider. I guess I've been in IT for too long now and forget that people work differently. That is, they don't stare into a computer screen all day. Must be nice. And of course, being in HR, she wants to find everyone jobs.

Can't wait to get away on the 26th. When has the five o'clock world become the six o'clock world? I guess I really had it good at LightSpeed. Is anyone actually more productive because they work longer? I bet it's the reverse. It is in my case! :)

Wept while listening to a Chieftains song today. These hormones, man, they make you crazy!

Emma told me to call her if a kitten commercial makes me cry at three in the morning. Well, looks like that just might happen. She said 'be sure to say kitten' and then she would know.

Also, I could do without these damn headaches. Oh, and why do people have to have the stinkiest food around here. It makes me want to gag.

Well, fight with Evil Corporation is over. They offered me a more decent raise. I was a little shocked at how fast they acted. They didn't even call me in, just made an offer, which I took. No need to piss them off unnecessarily. I would have LIKED more (especially in present circumstances), but let's not be greedy. What they offered was a raise and not a slap in the face this time.

Just came back from the mall and boy it's cold and windy! Good thing this is not supposed to be spring yet, 'cause it doesn't feel like it!

OK, people just have no clue about sensitivity. Not only do they keep asking me about having a baby ("so, anything yet? how about now? how about now?") they tell me I should colour my hair 'because it's starting to look grey'. Yeah, what else? Do I look fat? Can you see my wrinkles? Grrr!

A pea in the pod.

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Got sucked in to watching the Oscars on Sunday. Mind you, I only watched the red carpet thing and then half an hour of the ceremony (Billy Cristal is losing his touch). Then Arthur wanted to watch Stargate. I have to say that Christopher Judge gets cuter with every episode. Good thing they did not kill his character off or I'd be seriously upset. Anyway, as I looked at all the gowns and jewels, I realized that it no longer has the same excitement as ten years ago.
I am making progress. Today I went to J-town after lunch and did not buy any jewelry. Of course, the fact that my new ring came yesterday as well as my new Burberry pouch may have had something to do with it. I stuffed the envelope it came in into my closet. It's not that Arthur would disapprove, I'm sure he would not, it's more that I'm ashamed that I can't control myself.
Oh, this day is going slowly!
Watched "Awakenings" last night for the nth time (that is until Arthur came in and we watched Airline). What a great person Oliver Sacks is and how terrible that the encephalitis patients re-lapsed. I saw an interview with one of the patients a few years ago. It was a woman who had the Parkinsonian tremor and it was so strong that she could not even comb her hair. Makes me wonder what good I am doing. Here are all these people who need help, who are trapped in their bodies and minds. I do provied help, I even provide Help. Just not to the needy.
Glacia and I had a discussion about the Niagara short story contest. Neither of us has any ideas for a story, but I say I am not going to participate on the grounds that you have to pay. I mean, if it's a contest, you should not have to pay to take part. She saw through my rather thin charade.

Grey Monday. Have done dick all all morning though I had the best intentions to be productive. I did have the best intentions to come up with lots of ideas, but all I came up with was a lame-o checklist.
Emma is doing a Clara on me. I have e-mailed her several times last week and called and got no replies. It's Clara's birthday on Wednesday. Mind you, after the lack of communication from her after Christmas (no card or even a thank you for the present we sent), I really don't see why we should send anything. I'm a big softie though. Even if Emma doesn't get in touch, I will send Clara an e-card.
The battle plans for more pay are raging. I found on monster that I should be making 48K. I'm afraid that the company will just ignore my requests. After all, they ignored the sheikh's recommendation that I be paid more.
Did get a Burberry cosmetic bag after all. Hee hee! It's coming to the house. I am really a shopaholic!

OK, out of control on the shopping thing again. I need so many things and it's spring (new clothes!). I need a new shower curtain and new curtains for the bedroom would be nice as well. I would also like a new weekend bag (do NOT need that!) and a pink t-shrit like Drew Barrymore's in 50 First Dates. We need new pillows for the bed. Aaarrghhh!
By the way, typing this as I'm waiting for the auction on Burberry cosmetic bag to close. Hope I get it, but I saw two others as well and if I do not get that one, will buy another one. Sigh. I love shopping.

Oh, boy, life in corporate Canada is not easy. He my yearly review. The sheikh was all praise for my little endeavours, but unfortunately the salary review did not match the performance review. Now this is a large multinational corporation. One would think they would have the money to give me a raise of more than 1%! Yep, it was insulting. Emma was right. Compa ratio is a number that tells you how much HR will screw you over. In this case, royally. Even HRDC says I should be making more than I am. Sigh.
The sheikh was rather embarrased about it. I could tell he felt like crap having to tell me how little I would get. He said if I wanted to appeal and present arguments for why I should get more, I should. I will!

My marathon session with the sheikh seems to have paid off. Monday we spent another hour and a half talking about review meetings and how they should be handled. He spoke with the other team members and got some 'interesting' answers. His word. My guess is they did not agree with him and that was a surprise to him. Anyway, we are to speak about it in the next team meeting. Chrissie asked me if I was the one that brought this up as clearly he had asked her for her opinion. We had a chat and it was good. We both feel that our method is best. At least, it is for us.
Called Emma yesterday, but she was away from her desk. I am not doing as well as I should be with the novel. I was going to own up, but as she was not there, maybe I can write like mad and pretend that I was following the 500 words per day plan. I still really want to write the other book. This is the trouble with me. I start one and then have ten ideas for others that I want to write more than the one I am currently writing. Bother. How does P.D. James deal with it?

Dreamt about Toby. I wonder if he's still married to that Japanese girl who told him she was dying so they got married and then found out she wasn't. What a story. I wonder if he would have married her otherwise. From what he said when we talked about it, no. He said she told him she had six months (how very cliche, but of course if it was true, how very devastating) to live and that was why they decided to get married. Hm.
Must have dreamt about him because I remembered that time we had dinner and told each other all our secrets. That was the last time we met.

Have an axing meeting today or a 'review' meeting for one of my docs. Let's see how this goes. I wonder whether the sheikh will let me know how the others feel about those. I raised the point in our last meeting. He did get a little defensive. He's really open, but I suppose it's also only natural that he defend the status quo. I am clearly out to rock the status quo. Who would have thought that I would be such an innovator.

Sometimes I wonder whether I am truly naive. I know Emma has it all figured out, but I have no clue why someone would show me he's not interested romantically and want to be friends and then when I am fine with that, he wants to be involved romantically or not at all. He was lying either then or now, is the answer, of course. I don't get men.
Met Igor this morning on the subway. He's sweet in a fatherly way. He sat with his knee digging my thigh for a while and then realized it was inappropriate and moved. I could not move for lack of space.
Had a two hour meeting with the sheikh yesterday. We discussed the whole moderating meetings issue. He seems to be open to discussion on the topic. I had no idea how long it took until I got back to my desk and realized that it was four!
Emma says she might be pregnant again. I'm a teeeny bit jealous. It's her second and what about me? Not even a flutter. Not that we can afford me being on mat leave with Arthur not working. Crap!

Wrote Charlie, though I know I should not have. I just wanted to let him know about LightSpeed. No opportunities there for him anymore. Speaking of good ol' LS, I went up there yesterday and the door was unlocked, so I had a look. They painted it yellow with green trim (yuck!) and got rid of all the partitions and desks (they are stacked in Randall's office) but other than that it looks the same as before. I even went into my old office. The kitchen is also pretty dismantled though I guess they are keeping the microwave.
I ran into the Grand Poobah in the elevator yesterday and he told me the sale of LS has not gone through, but they have someone interested in investing. NOOOO! NOOO! It's the same old stupid nightmare again!
Coming up is the first married Valentine's Day! I am keeping an eye out for a little gadget for Arthur. Might use one of the sex coupons.

Of course, the sheikh is here today, unlike other Fridays and freaks me out whenever I see him. Good thing he's wearing those squeaky shoes and I can hear him come from far away.

F#@^k! Once again I find out I had to do something after the fact. How the heck was I supposed to know that they use the title tag? And that I was supposed to update it? I feel like a big flake. And the sheikh explains everything to me in a calm voice like to a child. I feel all dysfunctional! Maybe I am special needs.

Yesterday afternoon Rodrigo came to my office to apologize for some dreamed up thing. He hoped he did not offend me by saying he had practiced saying a Polish name to impress me. As if, my friend! He worried that I thought he was being flippant and disrespectful. Now, OK, I am the last to notice these things, but all joking aside, I think that he might like me a bit.

It did not work, I went and talked to Rodrigo and Pablo. Pablo is married as well and is very sweet. The sheikh also came in and passed by. Danger, danger, danger.
Hm, this gives me an idea for a new book...

Blogging at work certainly has its challenges.
Major thing is that the package that came for Arthur is just software he ordered, not what I feared.
I must be the most impatient woman in the world. Once I decide something, I want it NOW. Arthur and I have been 'trying' for two months, which is a very short time, but I'm already wondering why it hasn't happened yet. My hormones are probably not even working normally yet, for God's sake and I am thinking up other possibilities like adoption and whatnot. I wonder if other women feel that way. The standard response is 'wait and relax and then it will happen'. Well, it's kinda hard to relax! I do hope I was not misguided enough to say that to another woman. Mind, the first time it was so easy. In fact, I fervently did not want it to happen and of course it did.
Must say hormones are doing strange things these days. Have been imagining the sheikh in the buff and liking the mental image. And I can hear Rodrigo's voice in the kitchen and am doing my best to not go there and be admired. I do think he likes me. This is why I have not responded to his offer of lunch yet. I can see danger lurking. If it was only as simple as with Randall. I think that is the purest friendship I have ever had.

A big day with the sheikh yesterday. He came into my office twice, dragged me to a meeting where it was absolutely obvious I was not needed. Then of course, I had the usual meeting with him in his office. In a very small way he reminds me of Randall. Randall used to insist I was involved with everything. He was so lovely. If he was not so totally platonic toward me, I would totally have fallen in love with him. But perhaps not. Even when he held my hands in his at the coffee shop that one time, I felt nothing but warmth and friendship. Mind, Barry had quite a face on when he saw it.

I have had a grump on for the last week about how little I belong here, how Chrissie and them stay in their room and hardly ever come out while I am all over the place, meeting people. Well, it came to me this morning that maybe I intimidate them. I can hardly believe anyone would be intimidated by me. I mean, doe eyes and everything. Most men think I am but a little woman lost in a big world. How can that be intimidating? Well, but that's men for you. Luckily Arthur does not act this way. Anyway, maybe that's it.

Had a fab time with Emma on the weekend. She is so great! Coming back we had a bit of a road cone incident. We howled with laughter! Suffice it to say, there is now an orange road cone behind my building. It doubled as the snowman's hat for a while, but I think the children were not amused! :)