Snowed in

OK, people, it's COLD! Yesterday about 25 centimeters of snow fell on Toronto. My balcony is totally covered, despite my efforts to keep at least a small area clear. Today it's sunny but damn cold. With the windchill, it's -34 C. Ouch!

I have been trying to keep my New Year's resolution of eliminating the clutter from the apartment and going through stuff to throw it out. I got rid of all the STC magazines I had. Thank God for electronic copies online. Also am throwing out all my cassette tapes. I never listen to them and already have a pile of CDs that I don't listen to. VHS tapes will be next. I must say that it feels cleansing to be shedding all this stuff. Unfortunately, I still don't see a major improvement space wise. All the surfaces of our home are still full of stuff.

I have discovered the major fear of motherhood. It's that somehow you will make a mistake that will affect your kid for the rest of his life. I swear, I never worried so much about someone as I worry about Alex. Every rash or every time he coughs, I worry. I suppose we should have another baby because if not, the poor guy will hardly have any breathing room with his mother worrying over his every step. I don't relish the thought of being pregnant again, however. Also, the birth experience is still pretty fresh in my mind and I have to say, erm, NO THANKS! Those were the longest 24 hours of my life.

Am actually anticipating watching the Bachelorette tomorrow. Oh, shudder. And the Supernanny after that. I have come to the conclusion that we are a generation plagued by helplessness. It seems there are reality TV shows about everything these days - from decorating to selling houses, from weddings to births to parenting. Can we not do anything ourselves? There are even shows about people who have such a mess at home that they require someone to come in and clear it up for them! (Neat, Clean Sweep) No wonder Dr. Phil is so popular. We actually have to re-teach people to solve their own problems. At some point there will be a mentality of giving up and waiting for someone to come in and fix your life. You look bad, have a TV makeover or even plastic surgery. Can't find a date, go on Matchmaker. Kids are out of control, call the Supernanny. It's the new era of talk shows. Instead of talking about it, you actually watch it. I suppose it's even more voyeuristic than Jerry Springer. I am not saying that I have not fallen into the trap because clearly I have. I would love Debbie Travis to make over my living room. I would love to be snatched off the street for a makeover. Most likely though I will have to do it all myself and I think I will enjoy it!

Bachelorette update

Sorry it's a little late. OK, Keith, the guy chosen by her friends seems nice. Other than that, there's a bunch of sad guys there! I mean, the one who gave her a pendant that was his mother's? What the heck was that about? You just met her! I would have given it back if I were Jen. Maybe she did. And the one who insisted on telling her he was a virgin! Bud, that was not an issue at the moment! I liked the way Fabrice acted when she gave him a rose, he was very typically French. I hope she does not choose him unless she doesn't mind being cheated on. He's a total player.
The cops being called in because the guys were being too loud was just bizarre. This promises to be quite a show.

In preparation...

for the Bachelorette tomorrow, let me just share my impressions from last week. The guy who asked out her best friend who he thought was a waitress - well, clearly hedging his bets there and can't say I blame him. Also, am I the only one to notice that Jen and Michelle look like they could be sisters? Same hair, similar figures, I mean, hey he went for the next best thing and did not have to compete with 24 other guys to get it. Make sense? Think so! Having said that, would I have given him a rose, um, NO!
David, the guy who fainted was totally hot! I mean, those steely blue eyes, the black hair... he looked like he should be on the cover of a romance novel. I was so disappointed that she did not pick him. Definitely glad that she did not pick that lush of a hairdresser. All in all, it looked like the guys had a lot of fun just by themselves and sometimes it seemed like Jen was de trop.

Yes, ladies and gents, I have fallen to the depths of bad TV and intend to follow this show to its bitter end. It won't be pretty, but someone's got to do it. Wonder if there'll be a wedding a la Trista and Ryan at the end.

Just shows how sheltered my life has become. Trips to a nearby Shoppers and to the doctor are the highlights of my week. Pretty soon the weather will be colder and I won't even be able to take the baby grocery shopping. Sad, sad. And that is why I pay homage to the little box with the glowing screen.

#&^%*( doctors!

Not only do they poke my baby with two needles in the legs, they want to do more. More needles, that is. OK, immunization is very important, but with today's technology, can we not come up with something that hurts my baby less? With all the cherry and bubble gum flavoured Tylenol and syrups, you'd have thought that there would be no need for shots with horse sized needles. And about the cherry flavoured sweet goop that passes for medicine, how is that for getting kids hooked on sweets? sigh

Lesson time

I get these epiphanies late at night while I am feeding the bebe. One of them is that true love is only loving someone when they are being crabby to you. Arthur is tired and hates his job and that makes him a cranky boy sometimes and as I am exhausted and emotionally vulnerable, I make a little too much of it. Ah, well.

Life really really changes after baby. I would have never thought that I would be able to sit for hours, holding someone's head on my arm, arm feeling crushed and losing all feeling and would be glad to do it. Or that I would get up at four am and feed and not feel resentful about losing sleep. Or that I could rock someone to sleep for half an hour, with pain in the back and aching arms because he weighs 14 pounds. It's a whole other world. All of a sudden what I wanted before is not exactly what I want now. Before ideal life: bohemian life in the city. Ideal life now: house in the burbs. Who woulda thought.

Well, I must dash on that note. I hear him crying for mommy and that's me! :)

Baby time!

Baby is here! I know all mothers say this, but he really is the cutest baby in the world. No, really! And birth was hard. I don't suppose I will forget how contractions feel for a while yet. They SUCK! And pushing for an hour and a half and still having a c-seciton sux too! But of course I forget all that when I look at Alex. Mind you, I remember when I touch my tummy, which is still swollen and tender around the incision. And now hello sleepless nights and four a.m. feedings.

I have to say that I was a little worried that I would feel the baby became the most important person in my life rather than Arthur after the baby came, but I find that I love him more still than before. He came through for me like a trooper through all this. He helped me through the delivery, sat by my head during the c-section, held the baby beside me and talked to me when I was almost unconscious and shaking uncontrollably. Then at seven in the morning, he went off home to get some sleep and then went to work in the afternoon.

We've been getting packages lately. One from each of Arthur's sisters with things for the baby and today a gift basket from Evil Corporation. It's got some clothes and toys. Looks pretty nice. Well, at least I got a basket if not my four grand. Hey, maybe the four grand is in there somewhere? :)

Baby watch continues...

OK, baby was supposed to be here by now! Where is baby? There is still a lot of wriggling going on in my tummy though. I guess that means he's still not ready. Grrrr!

Totally jealous of glacia now. She gets to do the literary woman thing yet again. Me wanna wrimo too! Instead I even have to wait for the mommy thing!

I do have to say that being at home is quite nice sometimes. I get to catch up on my junk TV watching. Mind you, I still have not gone down to the level of watching Maury yet, but if this baby waits any longer... I am at the stage of the Cosby Show and MASH reruns now. I have never liked soaps, so no danger there, but Oprah is starting to look awfully good. Speaking of TV, ER will be on in a moment and I must not miss it! Hopefully I can finish the sleeves of my sweater to some of these shows. The front and back are done, I just have to finish the sleeves and they are taking an inordinately long time. I don't understand why because they are narrower than front and back. Then comes the dreaded sewing of the sweater together and I want to finish the neck and sleeve cuffs with furry yarn for fun. If only I can finish these damn sleeves, that is!

Damn, damn, damn!

Nanowrimo is almost here and I can't participate! I had so much fun with it last year too. Well, killing off Dick felt really good, even though it was just on paper. Aw, I miss it!

In knitting news, I almost finished the back of my sweater and bought wool for my husband's sweater though I doubt it that I will be able to finish it before the bebe comes. This is OK, he says, as he is always hot and sweating anyway.

Spending time alone while Arthur's at work lets me catch up on TV viewing. I watched the "Biggest Loser" and I suspect that this is the kind of routine I will need to subject myself to after the baby comes to lose the weight. And also, ahem, has anyone noticed that Caroline Rhea, lovely woman that she is, is not exactly thin? Now I am torn. I think she's lovely as she is and there is no need for anyone to be stick insect thin, but on the other hand, perhaps someone like Tyra Banks might be a better person to host this show? That is if she can tear herself away from The Next Top Model. I don't even consider Kate Moss a good choice, because at the sight of her, nobody would participate in the show, I mean impossible standards and all. Besides, who wants a pre-pubescent body anyway. OK, now I am craving ice cream. Pardon me as I raid the fridge.

Freedom

Here it is, Tuesday and I don't have to go to work. Hah! Yes, you guessed it, bored out of my tree. I just don't deal well with not having stuff to do. I did the laundry today and made lunch for Arthur before he went off to work. And now here I am, with the sink full of dishes, in front of the computer, searching for a meaningful way to fill my time. Sigh.

In knitting news, my scarf has made marvellous progress. Just last night as I was waiting for Arthur, I must have added ten centimeters to it. The sweater has fallen by the wayside. I have to ask glacia how to make socks. I also have to get more yarn because I promised a sweater to Arthur in a fit of knitting enthusiasm. Actually, come to think of it, I should get a move on with all those projects because once little one arrives, there will be very little time for anything.

Watched Gosford Park for the third time last night. It's one of those movies that you don't fully 'get' the first time you watch. Even last night, I noticed details I had not seen before, but which add to the overall story. And of course, Derek Jacobi is always great, even though here he has but a minor role.

Well, off to see what's on the tube now.

Last day

...at Evil before mat leave. Am totally bored because I was stupidly efficient and finished all my work yesterday. Ah, well.

Had a lovely call from Australia yesterday, from Lorena who is also preggers. Now, after talking to her, I truly appreciate having this baby in Canada. She has to pay for her health care because she is still not a permanent resident and also they have a two tier system and the private part is way better than the public. So, she has to pay three grand for the birth and hundreds more for blood tests, ultrasounds and the like. Sheesh! She also said that women on maternity leave do not get any benefits from the government at all. I asked 'what about single mothers' and she said 'don't even get me started because my blood pressure will go up.' I guess it really is a country where men are men and women are too.

In knitting news, I am taking a break from my gray sweater to make a new scarf. The scarf is coming out really nice. The yarn is a little fuzzy and I am using the seed stitch, which gives it a lot of texture.

I know this day will drag though it's a short one (I have to leave at two to go to the doctor). OK, five more hours to go...

Now hear this!

Let me explain something to all the people that were weaving in and out of my lane on the DVP this morning. If you all merge into a lane that seems to be moving faster, it will immedately slow down! The best and fastest way of getting out of a traffic jam is to stay in one lane!

I'm turning into a driver! The horror!

Have a cold and am feeling rather misreable. :(

Ahh, the open road...

Or in my case, the jammed up Don Valley. I like driving, I do, but really trucks that carry sand should have their own lane and not spill sand all over small vehicles that are trying to follow at breakneck speed of 40 km/h. That's my early morning frustration, which I have to say is not bad, considering what idiots drive in Toronto.

I took advantage of having the car and went to Michael's at lunch yesterday to see if they had some cheapie wool. There was lots of neat yarn, but there was nothing cheapie about it. I really want to make a poncho, but I also really don't want it to cost me $80! Especially since I suspect that they will be out of fashion by spring. I ended up getting a skein of cool boucle sort of thing for a new scarf (yes, yet another one). Am making a sweater for me now and last night, I realized (two rows later) that I dropped a stitch. There'll be some taking apart to do today!

I can't believe next week is my last week at Evil before mat leave. It just doesn't feel real. And a month from today is my due date! That of course does not mean that I will have the baby then, but it does make me realize that I better get a move on with getting diapers and stuff. Ah, the fun of it!

No more fruit?

It seems that in an effort to save money, Evil Corporation stopped buying fruit for the employees. OK, danger sign. I remember when that happened at SS and things went down hill from there down to missed pay cheques. Not that I think that would happen here, I think they would lay everyone off before that. Still... it's worrisome.

Prenatal classes on the weekend. Can't say that I feel any more confident now, actually, feel less confident. It looks bloody hard and it's not like I can opt out of doing it. My mom helpfully supplied details from my birth where she says she only pushed for about ten minutes. Ha! I should be so lucky!

I just want to say that Toronto in the fall is one of the most gorgeous places. After the prenatal birth videos extravaganza, Arthur and I walked up to Bloor through U of T campus. Picture this: golden and red leaves, old stone buildings and azure blue sky. What could be lovelier!

Baby watch begins

Officially starting ninth month. Of course, thought I was going into labour this morning, but appears to be just a bit of tummy upset.

I have not written in a while because things have been SO hectic at work, that after I leave here, I don't even want to look at a computer. Not that things will slow down any in the next few days. Today after work Arthur and I must take my dad to the airport. Most likely will be home at ten-ish, which means another late night. Then tomorrow must be up early to go to the hospital for pre-natal classes. I really don't know what could possibly take two full days to teach, but maybe they'll be very thorough.

On the knitting front, have begun a sweater for myself finally. Now also want to make a poncho, but must go get some cheapie yarn for that, which may mean a possible visit to WalMart or Michael's. Hoping to go to Michael's sometime next week as will have car and can drive there at lunchtime.

Last night Arthur and I waged a war on fruit flies. For some weird reason there were tons of them in one corner of the living room. We investigated any possible sources and came up with squat. They could have come from the plants, I suppose. Finally Arthur had enough and went to the store to get some bug spray. We then had to spend the next half hour on the balcony, waiting for the lethal stuff to do its work. Luckily it was a lovely night and we enjoyed it. Came back to a fly free apartment and watched the new Stargate episode. Christopher Judge still gorgeous!

More hats!

Made another hat for BBB. This one is SOOOO cute, has a little round ball on the top. Arthur loved it. This baby will have more hats than anyone.

Counting the days left at work. Oh, are there really so many? Mind, we need the moulah. We got the crib for the little critter on Sunday, so at least he has a place to sleep. I also got some pacifiers, baby shower gel, baby nail clippers. We had gotten the baby bath a couple of weeks ago. So now the baby has a place to sleep, a place to bath and a place to rock (courtesy of the baby rocker my parents got me). OK, shopping for this stuff is fun!

Being pregnant in the last weeks of pregnancy - less fun: hip pains, huge belly, can't turn around in bed, blues and lots of other woes. Oh and stretch marks. :( Booo hooooo!

They're out in full force!

The TTC weirdos! Yesterday I felt very sick so I left work early. Well, on the Steeles bus a lady got on, a few stops after me. Now, I've seen her before and I know that there's a syndrome with her name on it, but yesterday it was just rampant. She sat down and would not let anyone else sit beside her by actually stopping them with her hand. There was a Chinese gentleman sitting two seats away from her, reading a Chinese real estate brochure. She grabbed it out of his hands and started to look at it. He says, smiling, "How can you read this, it's Chinese!" She ignored him for a while, then tossed the brochure back at him. Then a lady across the aisle took out a bottle of make-up and started to show it to her friend. Well, this slightly different but yet so interesting woman stretched her hand out to take the bottle from the lady! "Can I see?" she asked. Um, NO! Then she began gazing at me. Well, I was very close to throwing up as it is and must have given that impression because she left me alone. I made sure I got on a different subway car from her.

Geez! I think maybe these people travel outside of rush hours. Mind you, in rush hour you can still see a bunch of weird stuff.

Am working on 2nd baby hat and it's half done. Yay! I am knitting this one. Way faster than crocheting. We got the baby crib and mattress on the weekend. I can't believe there's only six weeks to go! Blows my mind.

On the minus side, I got new stretchmarks on my tummy. Sigh. What we won't do for the future generation!

I know, I know, it's been a while

But my silence as of late can be explained by my new desk at Evil. This is situated right across from a director who has a clear uninterrupted view of my screen. Yuck.

Went to a lovely stich and bitch at Glacia's. Had to leave early because I was exhausted, but still, had lots of fun. She and Mitzi walked me to the bus stop, which was lovely.

Evil held a breakfast yesterday morning for the Dev group, of which tech writers are part. It was pretty BORING! The food was good though. They made us play these silly games where we had to discover relationships between members of our groups. For example, find a person who has a relative with the same name as your relative. Eh? We drew a blank on that one. Or see who has the most legs in your houes. What? Needless to say, my team did not win.

One month to go to mat leave. Wooohooo! I will be shot of this place for at least a few months. That is certainly something to look forward to.

Giant baby

I not only finished the baby jacket, I finished the hat too! I followed the directions to the letter and the hat turned out enormous! I don't think he'll be wearing it at least until he's fifteen. And then a blue and yellow hat might not be to his taste. :) I don't have the strength to take it apart though. My mom said she'd do it. I have some yarn left over so I decided to make another (smaller) hat out of that.

Weekend was pretty uneventful. I watched Jeopardy last night to see what the fuss was about with that little genius Ken. Well, he's pretty fast, but most of the questions I got as well. His skill might be in not answering questions where he doesn't know the answer, but I need to watch a little more to be able to tell. The other two participants were left far, far behind though normally they would not have done badly. Perhaps now it's some sort of psychosis - they all know he's good and are subconsciously conforming to that.

We are so lucky

...in this city weather wise. I know a lot of people have been complaining about the coolness of the summer this year. Personally, I have loved the cooler weather. But at least we have no hurricanes! I just read what some people on my Lone Writers List are doing to get ready for Frances hitting land. It's all so far removed from us here in Toronto, but these people have to stack up on water, food, batteries, medications, supplies for their pets. And I guess worst of all they have to face the possibility that they will have to leave their homes and these homes may not still be there when they come back. It really puts things in a perspective. Give me cool summers any day! I don't have to stuff my most important posessions into one bag and look for a shelter and wonder if everything I own was just wiped out. We were so unprepared for the blackout last year. We barely survived one day with no power and we still had water. My heart goes out to people in Florida and the Carolinas. Hurricane Frances, go away!

On married life...

I just love being married. OK, love being married to Arthur. He's such a great guy. He's so hardworking too. If I were at home most of the time, I'd most likely just veg watching TV, but he re-works his websites and does his laundry and washes the kitchen floor. He even moved the fridge to clean under there. OK, I know this is getting boring, but I adore my husband. :)

Well, it turns out that I put on a slutty outfit today completely unconsciously. Both my pants and shirt are see-through. Anyone who wants to look, can find out easily what colour underwear I'm wearing. So, today I'm a prego who's coquetting everyone with the view of her sports bra. If at least I had thought to wear a sexy bra!